Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/427

347 THE PICKWICK CLUB. 347

Hiimm, a converted fireman, now a schoolmaster, and occasionally an itinerant preacher ; and the secretary was Mr. Jonas Mudge, chandler's shop-keeper, an enthusiastic and disinterested vessel, who sold tea to the members. Previous to the commencement of business, the ladies sat upon forms, and drank tea, till such time as they considered it expedient to leave off ; and a large wooden money-box was conspi- cuously placed upon the green baize cloth of the business table, be- hind which the secretary stood, and acknowledged, with a gracious smile, every addition to the rich vein of copper which lay concealed within.

On this particular occasion the women drank tea to a most alarming extent ; greatly to the horror of Mr. Weller senior, who, utterly regard- less of all Sam's admonitory nudgings, stared about him in every direc- tion with the most undisguised astonishment.

don't want tappin' to-morrow mornin', I ain't your father, and that's wot it is. Why, this here old lady next me is a drownin' herself in tea."
 * ' Sammy," whispered Mr. Weller, " if some o' these here people

'* Be quiet, can't you ?" murmured Sara.

deep agitation, " mark my vords, my boy : if that 'ere secretary feller keeps on for only five minutes more, he'll blow himself up with toast and water."
 * ' Sam," whispered Mr. Weller, a moment afterwards, in a tone of

" Well, let him, if he likes," replied Sa'm ; '^ it ain't no bis'ness o' yourn."

" If this here lasts much longer, Sammy," said Mr. Weller, in the same low voice, " I shall feel it my duty, as a human bein', to rise and address the cheer. There's a young 'oman on the next form but two, as has drank nine breakfast cups and a half; and she's a swellin' wisibly before my wery eyes."

There is little doubt that Mr. Weller would have carried his bene- volent intention into immediate execution, if a great noise, occasioned by putting up the cups and saucers, had not very fortunately announced that the tea-drinking was over. TTie crockery having been removed, the table with the green baize cover was carried out into the centre of the room, and the business of the evening was commenced by a little emphatic man, with a bald head, and drab shorts, who suddenly rushed up tne ladder, at the imminent peril of snapping the two little legs encased in the drab shorts, and said :

'* Ladies and gentlemen, I move our excellent brother, Mr. Anthony Humm, into the chair."

The ladies waved a choice collection of pocket-handkerchiefs at this proposition ; and the impetuous little man literally moved Mr. Humm into the chair, by taking him by the shoulders and thrusting him into a mahogany frame which had once represented that article of furniture. The waving of handkerchiefs was renewed ; and Mr. Humm, who was a sleek, white-faced man, in a perpetual perspiration, bowed meekly, to the great admiration of the females, and formally took his seat. Silence was then proclaimed by the little man in the drab shorts, and Mr. Humm rose and said — That, with the permission of his Brick