Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/351

281 THE PICKWICK CJ-UB. 2B1

" Ugh, you wretch," said Mrs. Weller.

" Thank'ee, my love," said Mr. Weller.

" Come, come, father," said Sam, " none o' these little levin's afore
 * ftrangers. Here's the reverend gen'lm'n a comin' in now."

At this announcement, Mrs. Weller hastily wiped off the tears which 'she had just begun to force on; and Mr. W. drew his chair sullenly into the chimney corner.

Mr. Stiggins was easily prevailed on, to take another glass of the hot >ine-apple rum and water, and a second, and a third, and then to refresh limself with a slight supper, previous to beginning again. He sat on the same side as Mr. Weller senior ; and every time he could contrive to do so, unseen by his wife, that gentleman indicated to his son the hidden emotions of his bosom, by shaking his fist over the deputy shepherd's head, a process which afforded his son the most unmingled delight and satisfaction, the more especially as Mr. Stiggins went on, quietly drinking the hot pine-apple rum and water, wholly unconscious of what was going forward.

The major part of the conversation was confined to Mrs. Weller and the reverend Mr. Stiggins ; and the topics principally descanted on, were the virtues of the shepherd, the worthiness of his flock, and the high crimes and misdemeanours of everybody beside — dissertations which the elder Mr. Weller occasionally interrupted by half-suppressed references to a gentleman of the name of Walker, and other running commentaries of the same kind.

At length Mr. Stiggins, with several most indubitable symptoms of having quite as much pine-apple rum and water about him, as he could comfortably accommodate, took his hat and his leave : and Sam was, im- mediately afterwards, shewn to bed by his father. The respectable old gentleman wrung his hand fervently, and seemed disposed to address some observations to his son, but on Mrs. Weller advancing towards him, he appeared to relinquish his intention, and abruptly bade him good night.

Sam was up betimes next day, and having partaken of a hasty break- fast, prepared to return to London. He had scarcely set foot without the house, when his father stood before him.

" Goin', Sammy ? " inquired Mr. Weller.

" Off at once," replied Sam.

" I vish you could muffle that 'ere Stiggins, and take him with you," said Mr. Weller.

<* I am ashamed o*" you, old two-for-his-heels," said Sam, reproach- fully, " what do you let him shew his red nose in the Markis o' Granby at all, for?"

Mr. Weller the elder fixed on his son an earnest look, and replied — " 'Cause I'm a married man, Samivel, 'cause I'm a married man. Ven you're a married man, Samivel, you'll understand a good many things as you don't understand now ; but vether it's worth while goin' through so much, to learn so little, as the charity-boy said ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o taste. / rayther think it isn't.''