Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/336

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chandlery bis'ness likely to do? Vel, I am so g-lad to see you. How happy you look. It's quite a treat to see you, ain't it, Mr. Muzzle ? "


 * Quite," said Mr. Muzzle.

" So cheerful he is," said Sam.


 * In such good spirits," said Muzzle.

'* And so glad to see ns — that makes it so much more comfortable," said Sam. " Sit down ; sit down."

Mr. Trotter suffered himself to be forced into a chair by the fireside. He cast his small eyes first on Mr. Weller, and then on Mr. Muzzle, but said nothing.

" Well, now," said Sam, " afore these here ladies, I should just like to ask you, as a sort of curiosity, vether you don't con-sider yourself as nice and veil-behaved a young gen'lm'n as ever used a pink check pocket-handkerchief, and the number four collection ? "

" And as was ever a-going to be married to a cook," said that lady, indignantly, " The willin I "

wards," said the house -maid.
 * ' And leave off his evil ways, and set up in the chandlery line, arter-

" Now, I'll tell you what it is, young man," said Mr. Muzzle, solemnly, enraged at the last two allusions, " this here lady (pointing to the cook) keeps company with me ; and when you presume. Sir, to talk of keeping chandlers' shops with her, you injure me in one of the most delicatest points in which one man can injure another. Do you understand that. Sir ? "

Here Mr. Muzzle, who had a great notion of his eloquence, in which he imitated his master, paused for a reply.

But Mr. Trotter made no reply. So Mr. Muzzle proceeded in a solemn manner —

" It's veiy probable. Sir, that you won't be wanted up stairs for several minutes. Sir, because mj/ master is at this moment particularly engaged in settling the hash of j/owr master. Sir ; and therefore you'll have leisure. Sir, for a little private talk with me. Sir. Do you under- stand that, Sir ? "

Mr. Muzzle again paused for a reply ; and again Mr. Trotter disap- pointed him.

" Well, then," said Mr. Muzale, *' I'm very sorry to have to explain myself before the ladies, but the urgency of the case will be my excuse. The back kitchen's empty, Sir ; if you will step in there, Sir, Mr. Weller will see fair, and we can have mutual satisfaction 'till the bell rings. Follow me, Sir."

As Mr. Muzzle uttered these words, he took a step or two towards the door ; and by way of saving time, began to pull off his coat as he walked along.

Now the cook no sooner heard the concluding words of this desperate challenge, and saw Mr. Muzzle about to put it into execution, than she uttered a loud and piercing shriek ; and rushing on Mr. Job Trotter, who rose from his chair on the instant, tore and buffeted his large flat face, with an energy peculiar to excited females, and twining her hands in his long black hair, tore therefrom about enough to make five or six