Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/335

265 THE PICKWICK CLUB. 265

sistible influence with his new friends, that before the dinner was half over, they were on a footing of perfect intimacy, and in possession of a full account of the delinquency of Job Trotter.


 * ' I never could a-bear that Job," said Mary.

" No more you never ought to, my dear,' replied Mr. Weller.


 * ' Why not ? " inquired Mary.

" Cos ugliness and svindlin' never ought to be formiliar vith elegance ^nd wirtew," replied Mr. Weller. " Ought they, Mr. Muzzle? "


 * ' Not by no means," replied that gentleman.

Here Mary laughed, and said the cook had made her ; and the cook laughed, and said she hadn't.


 * ^ I han't got a glass," said Mary.

" Drink vith me, my dear," said Mr. Weller. " Put your lips to this here tumbler, and then I can kiss you by deputy."

" For shame, Mr. Weller," said Mary.

" What's a shame, my dear ? "


 * Talkin' in that way."

" Nonsense ; it ain't no harm. It's natur ; ain't it, cook ? "

'* Don't ask me imperence," replied the cook, in a high state of delight: and hereupon the cook and Mary laughed again, till what between the beer, and the cold meat, and the laughter combined, the latter young lady was brought to the verge of choaking — an alarming crisis from which she was only recovered by sundry pats of the back, and other necessary attentions, most delicately administered by Mr. Samuel Weller.

In the midst of all this jollity and conviviality, a loud ring was heard at the garden-gate, to which the young gentleman who took his meals in the wash-house, immediately responded. Mr. Weller was in the height of his attentions to the pretty housemaid ; Mr. Muzzle was busy doing the honours of the table ; and the cook had just paused to laugh, in the very act of raising a huge morsel to her lips, when the kitchen- door opened, and in walked Mr. Job Trotter.

We have said in walked Mr. Job Trotter, but the statement is not distinguished by our usual scrupulous adherence to fact. The door opened, and Mr. Trotter appeared. He would have walked in, and was in the very act of doing so indeed, when catching sight of Mr. W^eller, he involuntarily shrunk back a pace or two, and stood gazing on the unexpected scene before him, perfectly motionless with amazement and terror.

wery moment a speaking o' you. How are you ? Vere have you been ? Come in."
 * 'Here he is," said Sam, rising with great glee. *'Why we were that

And laying his hand on the mulberry collar of the unresisting Job, Mr. Weller dragged him into the kitchen ; and locking the door, handed the key to Mr. Muzzle, who very coolly buttoned it up, in a side- pocket.

" Well, here's a game," cried Sam. " Only think o* my master havin' the pleasure o' meeting your'n, up stairs, and me havin'the joy o' meetin' you down here. How are you gettin' on, and how is the