Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/125

79 TIIE nCKNYrCK CI.UB. *^*-'

iLc heart of the spinster aunt, without delay, lie had obserration enough to see, that his oft-hand manner was by no means disagreeable to the fair object of his attack ; and he had more than a strong sus- picion that she possessed that most desirable of all requisites, a small independence. The imperative necessity of ousting his rival by some means or other, flashed quickly upon him, and he immediately resolved to adopt certain proceedings tending to that end and object, without a moment's delay. Fielding tells us that man is fire, and woman tow, and the Prince of Darkness sets a light to 'em. Mr. Jingle knew that young men, to spinster aunts, are as lighted gas to gunpowder, and he determined to essay the eftect of an explosion without loss of time.

Full of reflections upon this important decision, he crept from his place of concealment, and, under cover of the shrubs before mentioned, approached the house. Fortune seemed determined to favour hia design. Mr. Tupraan and the rest of the gentlemen left the garden by the side gate just as he obtained a view of it ; and the young ladies he knew, had walked out alone, soon after breakfast. The coast was clear.

The breakfast-parlour door was partially open. He peeped in. The spinster aunt was knitting. He coughed ; she looked up and smiled. Hesitation formed no part of Mr. Alfred Jingle's character. He laid his finger on his lips mysteriously, walked in, and closed the door.

"Miss Wardle," said Mr. Jingle, with affected earnestness, "for- give intrusion — short acquaintance — no time for ceremony — all dis- covered."

" Sir I " said the spinster aunt, rather astonished by the unexpected apparition and somewhat doubtful of Mr. Jingle's sanity.

" Hush ! " said Mr. Jingle, in a stago whisper ; — " large boy — dumpling face — round eyes — rascal ! " Here he shook his head expres- sively, and the spinster aunt trembled with agitation.

"I presume you allude to Joseph Sir?" said the lady, making an effort to appear composed.

" Yes, Ma'am — damn that Joe I — treacherous dog, Joe — told the old lady — old lady furious — wild— raving — arbour — Tupman — kissing and hugging — all that sort of thing — eh, Ma'am — eh?"

" Mr. Jingle," said the spinster aunt, " if you come here Sir, to insult me "

" Not at all — by no means," replied the unabashed Mr. Jingle ; — " overheard the tale — came to warn you of your danger — tender my services — prevent the hubbub. Never mind — think it an insult — leave the room" — and he turned, as if to carry the threat into execution.

" What shall I do ! " said the poor spinster, bursting into tears. " My brother will be furious ! "

" Of course he will," said Mr. Jingle pausing — "outrageous."

" Oh Mr. Jingle, what can I say I " exclaimed the spinster aunt, in another flood of despair.

" Say he dreamt it," replied Mr. Jingle, coolly.

A ray of comfort darted across the mind of the spinster aunt at this sugfi^eslion. iNlr. Jingle perceived it, and followed up his advantage.