Page:The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club.djvu/115

71 THE PICKWICK CLUB. 71

and plates : a great running about of three ponderous headed waiters, and a rapid disappearance of the substantial viands on the table ; to each and every of which item of confusion, the facetious Mr. Jingle lent the aid of half-a-dozen ordinary men at least. When everybody had eat as much as they could, the cloth was removed, bottles, g-lassres, and dessert were placed on the table ; and the waiters withdrew to "clear away," or in other words, to aj)propriate to their own private use and emolument, whatever remnants of the eatables and drinkables they could contrive to lay their hands on.

Amidst the general hum of mirth and conversation that ensued, there was a little man with a puffy Say-nothing-to-me,-or-ril-contradict- you sort of countenance, who remained very quiet ; occasionally look- ing round him when the conversation slackened, as if he contemplated j)utting in something very weighty : and now and then bursting into a short cough of inexpressible grandeur. At length, during a moment of comparative silence, the little man called out in a very loud, solemn voice,

" Mr. Luffey."

Everybody was hushed into a profound stillness as the individual addressed, replied,

'♦ Sir."

" I wish to address a few words to you Sir, if you will entreat the gentlemen to fill their glasses."

Mr. Jingle uttered a patronizing " hear, hear," which was responded to, by the remainder of the company : and the glasses having been filled the Vice-President assumed an air of wisdom in a state of pro- found attention ; and said,


 * Mr. Staple."

" Sir," said the little man, rising, " I wish to address what I have to say to you and not to our worthy chairman, because our worthy chair- man is in some measure — I may say in a great degree — the subject of what I have to say, or I may say to — to —

" State," suggested Mr. Jingle.

— " Yes, to state" said the little man, " I thank my honourable friend, if he will allow me to call him so — (four hears, and one cer- tainly from Mr. Jingle) — for the suggestion. Sir, I am a Deller — a Dingley Deller, (cheers). I cannot lay claim to the honour of forming an item in the population of Muggleton ; nor Sir, I will frankly admit, do I covet that honour : and I will tell you why Sir, (hear); to Muggleton I will readily concede all those honours and distinctions to which it can fairly lay claim — they are too numerous and too well known to require aid or recapitulation from me. But Sir, while we remember that Muggleton has given birth to a Dumkins and a Podder, let us never forget that Dingley Dell can boast a Luffey and a Struggles. (Vociferous cheering.) Let me not be considered as wishing to detract from the merits of the former gen- tlemen. Sir, I envy them the luxury of their own feelings, on this occasion. (Cheers). Every gentleman who hears me, is probably acquainted with the reply made by an individual, who — to use an ordinary figure of speech — ' hung out ' in a tub, to the emperor Alexander : — ' If I w ere not Diogenes/ said he ' I would be Alexander.'