Page:The Portrait of a Lady (1882).djvu/388

380 380 THE POETRAIT OF A LADY. better to sit for half-an-hour with Ralph.' It was not that they talked of him it was not that she complained. His name was never uttered between them. It was simply that Ealph was generous and that her husband was not. There was something in Ealph's talk, in his smile, in the mere fact of his being in Rome, "that made the blasted circle round which she walked more spacious. He made her feel the good of the world ; he made her feel what might have been. He was, after all, as intelligent as Osmond quite apart from his being better, ^.nd. thus it seemed to her an act of devotion to conceal her misery from him. She concealed it elaborately ; in their talk she was perpetually hanging out curtains and arranging screens. It lived before her again -it had never had time to die that morning in the gar- den at Florence, when he warned her against Osmond. She had only to close her eyes to see the place, to hear his voice, to feel the warm, sweet air. How could he have known? What a mystery ! what a wonder of wisdom ! As intelligent as Gilbert 1 He was much more intelligent, to arrive at such a judgment as that. Gilbert had never been so deep, so just She had told him then that from her at least he should never know if he was right ; and this was what she was taking care of now. It gave her plenty to do ; there was passion, exaltation, religion in it. Women find their religion sometimes in strange exercises, and Isabel, at present, in playing a part before her cousin, had an idea that she was doing him a kindness. It would have been a kindness, perhaps, if he had been for a single instant a dupe. As it was, the. kindness consisted mainly in trying to make him believe that he had once wounded her greatly and that the event had put him to shame, but that as she was very generous and he was so ill, she bore him no grudge and even considerately forbore to flaunt her happiness in his face. Ralph smiled to himself, as he lay on his sofa, at this extraordinary form of consideration ; but he forgave her for having forgiven him. She didn't wish him to have the pain of knowing she was unhappy ; that was the great thing, and it didn't matter that such knowledge would rather have righted him. For herself, she lingered in the soundless drawing-room long after the fire had gone out. There was no danger of her feeling the cold ; she was in a fever. She heard the small hours strike, and then the great ones, but her vigil took no heed of time. Her mind, assailed by visions, was in a state of extraordinary activity, and her visions might as well come to her there, where she sat up to meet them, as on her pillow, to make a mockery of rest. As I have said, she believed she was not defiant, and what could