Page:The Portrait of a Lady (1882).djvu/176

168 168 THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY. " I have not always been happy," said Madame Merle, smiling still, but with a mock gravity, as if she were telling a child a secret. "What a wonderful thing ! " " A great many people give me the impression of never having felt anything very much," Isabel answered. " It's very true ; there are more iron pots, I think, than porcelain ones. But you may depend upon it that every one has something; even the hardest iron pots have a little bruise, a little hole, somewhere. I natter myself that I am rather stout porcelain ; but if I must tell you the truth I have been chipped and cracked ! I do very well for service yet, because I have been cleverly mended ; and I try to remain in the cupboard the quiet, du?-ky cupboard, where there is an odour of stale spices as much as I can. But when I have to come out, and into a strong light, then, my dear, I am a horror ! " I know not whether it was on this occasion or some other, that when the conversation had taken the turn I have just indi- cated, she said to Isabel that some day she would relate her history. Isabel assured her that she should delight to listen to it, and reminded her more than once of this engagement. Madame Merle, however, appeared to desire a postponement, and at last frankly told the young girl that she must wait till they knew each other better. This would certainly happen ; a long friendship lay before them. Isabel assented, but at the same time asked Madame Merle if she could not trust her if she feared a betrayal of confidence. " It is not that I am afraid of your repeating what I say," the elder lady answered ; "I am afraid, on the contrary, of your taking it too much to yourself. You would judge me too harshly; you are of the cruel age." She preferred for the pre- sent to talk to Isabel about Isabel, and exhibited the greatest interest in our heroine's history, her sentiments, opinions, prospects. She made her chatter, and listened to. her chatter with inexhaustible sympathy and good nature. In all this there was something flattering to the girl, who knew that Madame Merle knew a great many distinguished people, and had lived, as Mrs. Touchett said, in the best company in Europe. Isabel thought the better of herself for enjoying the favour of a person who had so large a field of comparison ; and it was perhaps partly to gratify this sense of profiting by comparison that she often begged her friend to tell her about the people she knew. Madame Merle had been a dweller in many lands, and had social ties in a dozen different countries. " I don't pretend to be learned," she would say, " but I think I know my Europe ; " and