Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/98

98 ever God did send me where they were, then I began to conclude it might be so that God had owned in his work such a foolish one as I; and then came that word of God to my heart, with much sweet refreshment, "The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me; and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy" (Job xxix. 13).

275. At this therefore I rejoiced; yea, the tears of those whom God did awaken by my preaching would be both solace and encouragement to me. I thought on those sayings, "Who is he that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?" (2 Cor. ii. 2.) And again, though "I be not an apostle to others, yet doubtless I am to you; for the seal of mine apostleship are ye in the Lord" (1 Cor. ix. 2). These things, therefore, were as another argument unto me that God had called me to and stood by me in this work.

276. In my preaching of the word I took special notice of this one thing—namely, that the Lord did lead me to begin where his Word begins with sinners that to condemn all flesh, and to Open and allege that the curse of God by the law doth belong to, and lay hold on, all men as they come into the world, because of sin. Now this part of my work I fulfilled with great sense, for the terrors of the law and guilt for my transgressions lay heavy on my conscience: I preached what I felt, What I smartingly did feel—even that under which my poor soul did groan and tremble to astonishment.

277. Indeed, I have been as one sent to them from the dead. I went myself in chains to preach to them in chains, and carried that fire in my own conscience that I persuaded to be aware of. I can truly say, and that without dissembling, that when I have been to preach I have gone and terror even to the pulpit door, and there it hath been taken off, and I have been at liberty in my mind until I have done my Work; and then immediately, even before I could get down the pulpit stairs, I have been as bad as I was before. Yet God carried me on, but surely