Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/74

74 but my whole seven weeks' experience; for this about the sufficiency of grace, and that of Esau's parting with his birthright, would be like a pair of scales within my mind: sometimes one end would be uppermost, and sometimes again the other, according to which would be my peace or troubles.

206. Therefore I did still pray to God that he would come in with his scripture more fully on my heart—to wit, that he would help me to apply the whole sentence, for as yet I could not. That he gave, that I gathered, but further I could not go, for as yet it only helped me to hope there might be mercy for me—My grace is sufficient. And though it came no further, it answered my former question—to wit, that there was hope; yet because "for thee" was left out, I was not contented, but prayed to God for that also. Wherefore one day, when I was in a meeting of God's people, full of sadness and terror (for my fears again were strong upon me), and, as I was now thinking, my soul was never the better, but my case most sad and fearful, these words did with great power suddenly break in upon me: My grace is sufficient for thee, my grace is sufficient for thee, my grace is sufficient for thee, three times together; and oh, methought that every word was a mighty word unto me, as "my," and "grace," and "sufficient," and "for thee," they were then, and sometimes are still, far bigger than others be.

207. At which time my understanding was so enlightened that I was as though I had seen the Lord Jesus look down from heaven, through the tiles, upon me, and direct these words unto me. This sent me mourning home—wit broke my heart, and filled me full of joy, and laid me low as the dust; only it stayed not long with me—I mean in this glory and refreshing comfort—yet it continued, with me for several weeks, and did encourage me to hope. But as soon as that powerful operation of it was taken from my heart, that other about Easu returned upon me as before: so my soul did hang as in a pair of scales again—sometimes up, and sometimes down; now in peace and and again in terror.