Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/72

72 did encourage me to prayer. Then the tempter again laid at me very sore, suggesting that neither the mercy of God nor yet the blood of Christ did at all concern me, nor could they help me for my sin; therefore it was but in vain to pray. Yet, thought I, I will pray. But, said the tempter, your sin is unpardonable. Well, said I, I Will pray. It is to no boot, said he. Yet, said I, I will pray. So I went to prayer to God; and While I was at prayer I uttered words to this effect: Lord, Satan tells me that neither thy mercy nor Christ's blood is sufficient to save my soul. Lord, shall I honour thee most by believing thou Wilt and canst? or him, by believing thou neither wilt nor canst? Lord, I would fain honour thee by believing thou wilt and canst.

201. And as I was thus before the Lord, that scripture fastened on my heart, O man, great is thy faith (Matt. xv. 28), even as if one had clapped me on the back as I was on my knees before God. Yet I Was not able to believe this, that this was a prayer of faith, till almost six months after; for I could not think that I had faith, or that there should be a word for me to act faith on: therefore I should still be as sticking in the jaws of desperation, and went mourning up and down in a sad condition.

202. There was nothing new that I longed for more than to be put out of doubt as to this thing in question; and as I was vehemently desiring to know if there was indeed hope for me, these words came rolling into my mind: "Will the herd-east off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?" (Ps. lxxvii. 7–9.) And all while they ran in my mind methought I had still this as answer: 'Tis a question whether he hath or no; it may he hath not. Yea, the interrogatory seemed to me to carry in it a sure affirmation that indeed he had not nor would so cast off, but would be favourable; that his promise