Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/27

Rh was elected. But how if the day of grace should now be passt and gone?

58. By these two temptations I was very much afflicted and disquieted; sometimes by one, and sometimes by the other of them. And first, to speak of that about my questioning my election, I found that though I was in a flame to find the way to heaven and glory, and nothing could beat me off from this, yet this question did so discourage me that I was, especially sometimes, as if the very strength of my body had been taken away by the force and power thereof. This scripture did also seem to me to trample upon all my desires: "It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy" (Rom. ix. 16).

59. With this scripture I could not tell what to do; for I evidently saw that, unless God had voluntarily chosen me to be a vessel of mercy, though I should desire and long and labour until my heart did break, no good could come of it. Therefore this would stick with me, How can you tell that you are elected? and what if you should not? how then?

60. O Lord, thought I, what if I should not indeed? It may be you are not, said the tempter; it may be so indeed, thought I. Why, then, said Satan, you had as good leave off, and strive no further; for if indeed you should not be elected and chosen of God, there is no hope of your being saved, for "it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy."

61. By these things I was driven to my wit's end, not knowing what to say, or how to answer these temptations. Indeed, I little thought that Satan had thus assaulted me, but that rather it was my own prudence thus to start the question: for that the elect, only obtained eternal life, that I without scruple did heartily close withal; but that myself was one of them, there lay the question.

62. Thus, therefore, for several days I was greatly