Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/25

Rh know that as yet I had not in this matter broken my mind to any one, only did hear and consider), the tempter came in with his delusion, That there was no way for me to know I had faith but by trying to work some miracles, urging those scriptures that seem to enforce and strengthen his temptation. Nay, one day as I was between Elstow and Bedford the temptation was hot. upon me to try if I had faith by doing some miracle; which miracle at this time was this: I must say to the puddles that were in the horse-pads, Be dry; and to the dry places, Be you puddles. And truly one time I was going to say so indeed; but just as I was about to speak, this thought came into my mind, But go under yonder hedge, and pray first that God would make you able. But when I had concluded to pray, this came hot upon me, that if I prayed and came again and tried to do it, and yet did nothing notwithstanding, then, to be sure, I had no faith, but was a castaway, and lost. Nay, thought I, if it be so, I will not try yet, but will stay a little longer.

52. So I continued at a great loss; for I thought if they only had faith which could do so wonderful things, then I concluded that I neither had it nor yet were ever like to have it. Thus I was tossed betwixt the devil and my own ignorance, and so perplexed that I could not tell what to do.

53. About this time the state of happiness of these poor people at Bedford was thus in a kind of a vision presented to me. I saw as if they were on the sunny side of some high mountain, there refreshing themselves with the pleasant beams of the sun, while I was shivering and shrinking in the cold, afflicted with frost, snow, and dark clouds; me-thought also betwixt me and them I saw a wall it that did compass about this mountain. Now through this wall my soul did greatly desire to pass, concluding that if I could I would there also comfort myself with the heat of their sun.

54. About this wall I bethought myself to go again and again, still prying as I went, to see if I could find some way