Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/24

24 another faith," etc. (1 Cor. xii. 8, 9). And though, as I have since seen that by this scripture the Holy Ghost intends, in special, things extraordinary, yet on me it did then fasten with conviction that I did want things ordinary—even that understanding and wisdom that other Christians had. On this Word I mused, and could not tell what to do. Especially this word faith put me to, it, for I could not help it, but some-times must question whether I had any faith or no. But I was loath to conclude I had no faith; for if I do so, thought I, then I shall count myself a very castaway indeed.

48. Now, said I with myself, though I am an ignorant sot, and want those blessed gifts of knowledge and understanding that other people have, yet at a venture I will conclude I am not altogether faithless, though I know not what faith is; for it was shown me, and that too, as I have seen since, by Satan, that those who conclude themselves in a faithless state have neither rest nor quiet in their souls; and was loath to fall quite into despair.

49. Wherefore by this suggestion I was made afraid to see my want of faith. But God would not suffer me thus to destroy my soul, but did, against this my sad and blind conclusion, create within me such suppositions that I could not rest content until I did some to some certain knowledge whether I had faith or not—this always running in my mind, But how if you want faith indeed? But how can you tell you hate faith? And, besides, I saw for certain if I had not I was sure to perish for ever.

50. So that though I endeavoured at the first to look over the business of faith yet in a little time I, better considering the matter, was willing to put myself upon the trial whether I had faith or no. But alas, poor Wretch! so, ignorant was I that I knew no more how to do it than I know how to begin and accomplish that rare and curious piece of art which I never yet saw or considered.

51. Wherefore, while I was thus considering (for you must