Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/16

16 20. But one day (amongst all the sermons our person made) his subject was to treat of the sabbath day, and of the evil of breaking that, either with labour, sports, or otherwise; "Wherefore I fell in my conscience under his sermon, thinking and believing that he made that sermon on purpose to show me my evil-doing. And at that time I felt what guilt was, thought never before that I can remember; but then I was for the present greatly loaded therewith, and so went home, when the sermon was ended, with a great burden upon my spirit.

21. This, for that instant, did embitter my former pleasures to me. But hold, it lasted not; for before I had well dined the trouble began to go off my mind, and my heart returned to its old course. But oh, how glad was I that this trouble was gone from me, and that the fire was put out, that I might sin again without control! Wherefore, when I had satisfied nature with my food, I shook the Sermon out of my mind, and to my old custom of sports and gaming I returned with great delight.

22. But the same day, as I was in the midst of a game of cat, and having struck it one blow from the hole, just as I was about to strike it the second time a voice did suddenly dart from heaven into my soul, which said, "Wilt thou leave thy sins end go to heaven, or have thy sins and go to hell?" At this I was put to en exceeding maze; Wherefore, leaving my cat upon the greeted, I looked up to heaven, and was as if I had, with the eyes of my understanding, seen the Lord Jesus look down upon me as being very hotly displeased with me, and as if he did severely threaten me with some grievous punishment for those and other ungodly practices,

23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind but suddenly this conclusion fastened on my spirit (for the former hint did set my sin again before my face), that I had been a great and grievous sinner, and that it was now too late for me to look after heaven; for Christ would not forgive me,