Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/12

12 did soon lose what I had learned, even almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did work his gracious work of conversion upon my soul.

4. As for my own natural life, for the time that I was without God in the world, it was indeed according to the course of this world, and the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience. (Eph. ii. 2.) It was my delight to be taken captive by the devil at his will (2 Tim. ii. 26), being filled with all unrighteousness; the which did also so strongly work and put forth itself, both in my heart and life, that I had but few equals both for cursing, swearing, lying, and blaspheming the holy name of God.

5. Yea, so settled and rooted was I in these things that they became as a second nature to me; the which, as I have also with soberness considered since, did so offend the Lord that even in my childhood he did scare and terrify me with fearful dreams and Visions. For often, after I had spent this and the other day in sin, I have been greatly afflicted while asleep with the apprehensions of devils and wicked spirits, who, as I then thought, laboured to draw me away with them, of which I could never be rid.

6. Also I should at these years be greatly troubled with the thoughts of the fearful tor-merits of hell fire, still fearing that it would be my lot to be found at last among; those devils and? hellish fiends who are there bound down with the chains and bonds of darkness unto the judgment of the great day.

7. These things, I say, when I was but a child but nine or ten years old, distress my soul: at then, in the midst amidst of my many sports and childish vain companions, I was often much cast down and therewith, yet could I not let go my sins. Yea, I was also then so overcome with despair of life and heaven that I should often wish either there had been no hell, or that I had been a devil, supposing they were only tormentors;