Page:The Pilgrim's Progress, the Holy War, Grace Abounding Chunk3.djvu/103

Rh his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate" (Ps. cxxvii. 3–5).

291. It pleaseth me nothing to see people drink in opinions, if they seemed ignorant of Jesus Christ and the worth of their own salvation. Sound conviction for sin, especially unbelief, and an heart set on fire to be saved by Christ, with strong breathings after a truly sanctified soul that it was that delighted me; those were the souls I counted blessed.

292. But in this work, as in all other, I had my temptations attending me, and that of divers kind—as sometimes I should be assaulted with great discouragement therein, fearing that I should not be able to speak a word at all to edification, nay, that I should not be able to speak sense to the people; at which times I should have such a strange faintness and strengthlessness seize upon my body, that my legs have scarce been able to carry me to the place of exercise.

293. Sometimes again, when I have been preaching, I have been violently assaulted with thoughts of blasphemy, and strongly tempted to speak the words with my month before the congregation. I have also at some times, even when I have begun to speak the word with much clearness, evidence, and liberty of speech, yet been, before the ending of that opportunity, so blinded and so estranged from the things I have been speaking, and have been also so straitened in my speech, as to utterance before the people, that I have been as if I had not known or remembered what I have been about or as if my head had been in a bag all the time of my exercise.

294. Again, when as sometimes I have been about to preach upon some smart and searching portion of the Word, I have found the tempter suggest, What! will you preach this? This condemns yourself; of this your own soul is guilty. Wherefore preach not of this at all; or if you do,