Page:The Pacific Monthly volumes 1-3.djvu/752

 Drift

The Oregon Industrial Exposition.

The Oregon Industrial Exposition at Portland has one of the best bands on the coast, which gives grand concerts day and evening, from September 28 to October 28. Bennett's full military band renders music that inspires and pleases all, and its array of soloists have a fame that is world-wide.

The amateur photographers of the world are invited to compete for prizes at the Exposition that is held at Portland, September 28 to October 28, and $200 in cash prizes will be awarded.

The immense Exposition building at Portland has been vastly improved in every part of its interior, and is gay with flags and bunting, and at night presents a scene of splendor rarely equalled. It has 3500 electric lights, and presents a picture to be long remembered. The opening night will be September 28, and the fair will be a series of surprises up to October 28.

Gen. O. Summers, Col. D. M. Dunne and Capt. E. S. Edwards have arranged at the Oregon Industrial Exposition a splendid collection of war trophies and curios from the Philippines, which will be especially exhibited for the benefit of the monument fund. Many of the veteran volunteers of the Second Oregon are taking an active interest in this war museum. It will be one of the features of the great fair.

The reproduction of Multnomah Falls at the Oregon Industrial Exposition is a grand feature. The real water, with the whole of Bull Run river behind it, falls 80 feet; and the rustic bridge is for people to cross, and the sylvan pools, and ferns and mosses and big, live fir trees. The falls will attract great crowds from the opening of the fair.

Portland is a very attractive city to visit, and it has such a splendid street car system that the stranger can see the business section, the attractive homes and the splendid suburbs all on a single 5 cent fare, while com- fortably seated in open electric cars.

All the products of the great northwest are on exhibition at Portland. The mines, farms, fields, factories, forests and fisheries all make a grand showing, and there are grains and grasses that any part of the world may well be proud of. The big fair runs from Septem- ber 28 to October 28.

Besides the very best band music, the Or- egon Industrial Exposition has secured at great expense the services of the wonderful Florenz troupe and the Macarte Sisters, world-renowned aerial and acrobatic ar- tists, and they will give performances every evening, and there will be Major Ganz,

the smallest man in the world, and many other attractions.



The London Telegraph tells the following story: "When Emerson visited Carlyle in London he expressed doubts to the latter of the personality of the devil. Carlyle took him to see many of the 'shows' of the metrop- olis, asking him, as they issued from each reeking lane filled with the shouts of intoxi- cated men and women, whether he had not changed his opinion. At last they arrived in the House of Commons, and, as they sat in the strangers' gallery listening to some ora- tor's rigamarole, Carlyle punched his friend in the ribs and asked, 'Do you believe in a deevil noo?' "

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At the Telephone. — A business house of Aberdeen, Scotland, recently engaged as of- fice boy a raw country youth. It was part of his duties to attend the telephone in his mas- ter's absence. When first called upon to an- swer the bell, in reply to the usual query "Are you there V" he nodded assent. Again the question came, and still again, and each time the boy gave an answering nod. When the question came for the fourth time, how- ever, the boy, losing his temper, roared through the telephone:

"Man, a' ye blin'? I've been noddin' me haid aff for t' last hauf 'oor!"

Superlative. — One hot summer's day a gen- tleman who was waiting for his train at one of our country stations asked a porter, who was lying on one of the seats, where the sta- tion master lived, and the porter lazily point- ed to the house with his foot. The gentle- man, very much struck at the man's lazi- ness, said:

"If you can show me a lazier action than that, my good man, I'll give you two and six pencce."

The porter, not moving an inch, replied:

"Put it in my pocket, guv'nor." 9 ' &■ 9

"I see by the dictionary," said the foreign- er who was struggling with the English lan- guage, "that 'unbend' means to 'relax,' and 'unbending' means 'unyielding.' "

"Don't blame me!" replied his American friend, cheerfully. "I didn't write the dic- tionary."



Attorney (sternly)— The witness will please state if the prisoner was in the habit of whistling when alone.

Witness — I don't know; I was never with the prisoner when he was alone.