Page:The Novels of Ivan Turgenev (volume VII).djvu/151

Rh a home here by a friend. I will call him Vassily. He is the chief person here—a splendid fellow. Our stay in this factory is only temporary. We are here till the time comes for action—though, to judge by what has happened so far, this time is hardly likely ever to come! Vladimir, my heart is heavy, heavy. First of all, I must tell you that though Marianna and I have run away together, we are so far as brother and sister. She loves me and has told me she will be mine if  I feel I have the right to ask it of her.

'Vladimir, I don't feel I have the right! She believes in me, in my honesty—I'm not going to deceive her. I know I have never loved any one and never shall love (that's pretty certain!) any one more than her. But, for all that, how can I unite her fate for ever to mine? A living being—to a corpse? Well, not a corpse—to a half-dead creature! Where would one's conscience be? You will say, if there were a strong passion—conscience would have nothing to say. That's the very point that I am a corpse; an honest, well-meaning corpse, if you like. Please don't cry out that I always exaggerate. All I am telling you is the truth! the truth! Marianna is a very concentrated nature, and now she is all absorbed in her activity, in which she believes While I?