Page:The New Yorker 0003, 1925-03-07.pdf/15

THE NEW YORKER i VIFTH Avenue is consistent only in being the age of 128, which was not easy in those days, espe- most feminine thoroughfare in the world. So cially as his matches all got wet. it was no great surprise to me last Tuesday to "My father soon made friends with the Indians discover that a good old-fashioned Fire Sale was go- who inhabited Hollywood and they later took him into ing on in the Dobbs store in the upper Forties. A the tribe and gave him the name of 'Ugh. But week or so ago the Avenue parade had stopped to watch when my grandmother died my grandfather sort of the place burning, and it gave up hope and drifted was now being ushered in into the real estate busi- groups of twenty-five ness. At the time of his into the bargains inside by death he was developing a cordon of police. There a section (which he called were easily five hundred the 'Bronx') by bringing thrifty shoppers waiting Gordon gin from Gor- for admission when I don, 125 miles away, by passed the place about pipe line over the moun- noon. tains to the orange groves. Had this succeeded, he Answer to week before would certainly have in- last's puzzle (presuming creased land values and that anybody besides W. besides would have been C. W. Durand bothered a lot of fun and kept the to guess it): Kenesaw children out in the open Mountain Landis. and given them lots more color. "Yes, Hollywood has "Hollywood has cer- certainly changed," con- tainly changed considera- cluded Mr. Stewart, "and bly since I was a boy," perhaps it is for the best." said Donald Ogden Stew- art, in a reminiscent mood after his return last Tues- Among those who have long been fed up with in- day to New York from a lecture tour, dictments against the First Night Audience is your "I suppose," continued Mr. Stewart, "that it would annoyed correspondent. George Jean Nathan and be a surprise to a great many people to learn that I others from time to time have lots of fun comment- was the first white child born in Hollywood, and in- ing on the raffishness of the assemblage at the premiere deed it was a surprise to me at the time and even more of a play—so many bulging stockbrokers, so many of a surprise to my parents who had come overland in extremely protected ladies, so many Broadwayish actors a covered wagon to see the Grand Canyon but had and actresses, playwrights, ticket speculators, etc. The taken the wrong road at Cincinnati and, to their chag- implication of all these critics is that First Night Audi- rin, landed in California instead of Arizona. ences are made up of gangs of murderers ready to "The trip to the Coast in those days," went on Mr. kill the play or equally detestable claques of person- Stewart, "was one of considerable difficulty. We left ally interested huzzahers. A combination cheerfully New York (125th Street) early in the Spring and determined to ruin whatever pleasure a well-bred pew with favorable winds and a message from Mayor Hy- holder might get out of the proceedings on the stage. lan to the mayor of San Francisco tied around my Well, where in the name of polite society, are the grandmother's leg, we were able to reach the Grand virtues of the audiences who attend the sixth, twenty- Central Station by May, where we got our mail and fourth or two hundredth and ninety-ninth perform- fresh meat. ance of a play which had such a lamentable first "But from then on the trip was no longer child's night attendance? To get to the point (and attach it play and indeed none of the children played anything hopefully to the seat of the chair) Mr. Nathan et al except my grandmother who played the flute, but not are talking through their gibous. Several times in the last few weeks I have gone to plays at these later "At Kansas City we had a shower and a change of performances and on any one of those evenings there horses and after that we pushed on into the heart of the was more late arriving, coughing, snarting, whisper- Indian country. We were not bothered much by In- ing, and general hysteria than I have ever seen at a first dians, however, except my grandfather, and indeed by night. the time we reached Hollywood the old gentleman Irrespective of their worthiness as individuals an had spent all his money for Indian blankets and post-opening night audience comes to the theatre prepared cards so that he had to start life all over again at the to see a play. Charges against the amoebae in after- very well. . 1 Dormed by Google