Page:The New Yorker 0002, 1925-02-28.pdf/18

16 member of the circulating library contained in the sta- attended and faithfully quoted: along about the sixth tioner's nearest her. She is saved the wear and tear of or seventh, only the first row of gilt chairs is occupied. selecting appropriate reading matter—there is the nic- Mrs. Legion has looked on this world for some est girl there, who knows just the sort of thing she thirty-seven years, and she has not failed to draw likes. Mrs. Legion can seldom tell you the title of a conclusions. So clear are her views that she can dis- book she reads, and never the author's name, but she miss any subject with a single sentence. Of politics, can always give you a pretty comprehensive résumé of she says that Mrs. Coolidge is awfully sweet looking, the plot. She likes a book because there is the cutest girl and they say she is very popular in Washington, Of in it, or the most attractive man, or because the author the unemployment situation, that these beggars you says the rawest things, well, my dear, simply noth- see in the streets all have big bank accounts and prob- ing is left to your imagination. And the lifting of ably most of them own tenement buildings. Of any strain on the imagination is regarded, in the married life, that she honestly believes that Fred Legion circle, as the king of assets. Legion would eat steak every night if you'd give it In the theatre, she likes best to patronize, even to him. Of the race question, that these Swedes and though she must wait weeks to obtain desirable seats, Irish girls are so independent that she has half a mind those exhibits which she euphemistically describes as to get a couple of darkie servants. Of art and belles "my dear, they say it's the most off-color thing you lettres, that she wouldn't live in Greenwich Village ever saw. I do hope the police don't stop it before we if you gave her the place. Of motherhood, that it can get tickets." She does not care for drama of the certainly hard to know how to dress children when drab, the every-day, or the underworld. As she says, they're at that awkward age. Of the relation of the she does love to see pretty clothes. sexes, that it's terrible what women have to go through Sporadically, Mrs. Legion goes in for culture in a in this world. really big way, and signs up for a course of lectures on Flemish paintings or current events or interior My friend, Mrs. Legion. Heiress of the ages. decoration. The first lecture of the series is largely -Dorothy Parker

Editor's Note: The New YORKER will publish There was a time when a free American citizen from time to time articles on important public prob- could take a drink or leave it as he saw fit, but now lems, written by recognized experts in their respective he just has to take it. Formerly the Constitution fol- fields. This first article we believe will give our read- lowed the flag. To-day the flask follows the Con- ers a clearer understanding of the complex transit stitution. I do not wish to be unduly severe on Mr. situation that has recently been under investigation by Coolidge, but it is time to call a halt. Hands of Judge McAvoy. Mr. Levy, the author of the ar- the pants of the Princeton boys Mr. President! ticle, traveled for years on the west side subway. Statistics, are always illuminating and instructive, More recently he has been a daily passenger on the but in this case they tell only part of the story. Sup- Ninth Avenue "L.” It will be seen, therefore, that pose you take the Leviathan and stand it on its end his knowledge of the subject has been obtained at first and place it next the Woolworth Building--what hand. Let Mr. Levy tell his story in his own way. then? The result would be ridiculous however you looked at it. THE HE transit situation in New York City which Then there is the question of a Municipal Art for many years has been a problem and a nui- Center. The plans provide for a magnificent group sance is rapidly becoming a menace. Owing to the of buildings up near the Jerome Park reservoir. peculiar geographical formation of Manhattan Island, There are to be about a dozen rooms, each equipped travel is necessarily longitudinal rather than lateral. with a piano, where the poor children of the slums Let us look at a few figures; almost any figures can go to practice music. It is a grand idea. The will do. Let us look for instance at the export of soul starved Paderewskis and Hoffmans of the East plain (or unvarnished) hemp from Bolivia for 1905. Side can dash into the subway when school adjourns We have the incredible total of 84,715,906 pounds. at three o'clock, and arrive at the Art Center at four Talk about figures! This hemp was transported al- in time to practice for an hour or so, provided there most entirely in foreign bottoms. are not more than five or six hundred other infant This brings me to the third point I wish to make. prodigies in line, waiting to use the dozen or so pianos. The President of the United States recently criticised If New York is not populated entirely by virtuosos three Princeton students because of the way their in another generation it will not be the fault of the trousers were hanging, and suggested that they wear Art Center. suspenders. It will be recalled that the last Demo- In this article I have been able to hit only the high cratic President was at one time President of Prince- spots. I have not touched on the Dual contracts at ton. The inference is obvious. There has been too all. What, by the way, are the Dual Contracts? much interference with personal liberty already. -Newmon Levy