Page:The New Monthly Magazine - Volume 097.djvu/386

372 only dawning on the States; how they lost it originally, having certainly embarked with it, such as it was, in James's, and Charles's, and Anne's days, I know not. But I have said a good word for Gadsby's; they are very civil, very; but here comes into play the inevitable devil-may-care, lacy, laughing carelesness of tho darkies! From the Irish spalpeens and dimity jackets of New York and Philadelphia, as you come south, you are handed over to the more assiduous considerations and attentions of the dimity darkies who stand behind your chair, in the darkness—visible halls, and feed you on warm eatables, and cold and hot water; you are as helpless under their tyranny a two-year old baby. I have talked of interminable long tables; at this hotel we have immense round tables; the markets at Washington are very scantily and badly supplied, nothing is very good, and the table partakes of it; but, then, one has a foolish prejudice in favour of something hot at dinner. Nothing is ever "hot" in America; beefsteaks, tee, potatoes, toast, and eggs, even corn cakes, are only "warm"—when not quite cold; people ask for warm things (warm roast-beef!); but in good sooth, at table nothing is even "warm." As usual, our food is brought to us, helped from the mysterious regions in the dim, dark vast at one far invisible end, where the tricksty yellow boys (mulattoes mostly) hold cabinet councils of fun, plate in hand. You have consulted carefully the bill of fare, and if your particular darky has any bowels of compassion you may get something of what you send for before it is all gone, or quite cold, and, perhaps, before your more swift-munching neighbours have backed out to their stores, to visit the bar, or smoke a cigar.

Now, though I fee these animals per force, it little availed as to getting any given thing with the smallest particle of caloric remaining perceptible to the taste.

With a vast circumference of white tablecloth, salt-collars, and tooth-picks before one, nothing whatever eatable is put on it—and ten minutes, or fifteen, must be employed patiently picking one's teeth; one may fancy the sly fun going on among the dozen quambos who keep out of sight, exchanging witticisms at the expense "ob de white niggers dey got to feed any how." Let us suppose it at breakfast, the whole gang of grinning, woolly-heads collected round the tea and coffee coppers, or boilers; both liquids nothing more or less than coloured hot water, the taste very much alike, and so execrable, that I send my fellow mildly back with my cup to beg it may be, if possible, a little stronger.

My Darky.—Here, old Sam, dat ole chap what dey say jus come from de ole country, he say dis cup tea is nutting but water, him want to know if can have it lilly more 'Sampson' (strong!).

Snowball Sam.—Yah! he, he! why you no tell him must get use to it, any how! (Fills the cup again from the same universal cock.) Here, tell him dis is 'trong as debil and half, good measure! he, he, he!

My sable Imp.—'Sides dat, he say, dem egg is biled hard as corn cob, yah, yah, wheugh!

Ginger Blue (another Imp).—Wby, dat am de way as is all biled to suit majority, and neber complains none! No pleasing dem catawampum ole folke, I guess, he, he, he, he!

My Imp.—Well, any how, must gib one soff, I 'spose, not to break him toose! if he am got any, he, he, he! What seem to you he say