Page:The Naval Officer (1829), vol. 1.djvu/240

 "No," said I; "in your ship I should be coals at Newcastle; besides, your coffee is too weak, your steward only puts one ounce into six cups."

These hits afforded a good deal of mirth among the crowd, and even the admiral himself honoured me with a smile. I bowed respectfully to his lordship, who merely said—"What do you want of me, fool?" Oh, nothing at all, my lord," said I; "I have only a small favour to ask of you." "What is that?" said the admiral. "Only to make me a captain, my lord." "Oh, no," said the admiral, "we never make fools captains." "No!" said I, clapping my arms akimbo, in a very impertinent manner; "then that, I suppose, is a new regulation. How long has the order in council been out?"

The good humoured old chief laughed heartily at this piece of impertinence; but the captain, whose ship I had so recently quitted, was silly enough to be offended: he found me out, and