Page:The Naval Officer (1829), vol. 1.djvu/119

 expence of my morals. Whether the exchange were profitable or not, is left to wiser heads than mine to decide; my business is with facts only.

Thus while the ungenerous malice of the elder midshipmen thought to have injured me by leaving me in ignorance, they did me the greatest possible service, by throwing me on my own resources, I continued on pretty nearly the same terms with my shipmates to the last. With some of the mess-room officers, I was still in disgrace, and was always disliked by the oldsters in my own mess; with the younger midshipmen and the foremast men I was a favourite. I was too proud to be a tyrant, and the same feeling prevented my submitting to tyranny. As I increased in strength and stature, I showed more determined resistance to arbitrary power: an occasional turn-up with boys of my own size, (for the best friends will quarrel,) and the supernumerary midshipmen sent on board for a passage, generally ended in establishing my