Page:The Mothers of England.djvu/81

76 the feelings of generosity are associated with a number of enthusiastic ideas; we can sympathise with the virtuous insanity of the man who forgets himself while he thinks of others; we do not so readily sympathise with the cold strength of mind of the person, who, deliberately preferring the greatest possible share of happiness, is benevolent by rule and measure."

All making of presents with the parent's money, all giving for the mere luxury of the giver, should then be studiously avoided in the management of children; while, on the other hand, all real kindness, all giving up of selfish gratification purely for the sake of doing good to others, ought to be as studiously encouraged, and rewarded with indubitable marks of approbation.

As one means of preventing young people acquiring a habit of acting from that spurious kind of generosity which has just been described, it is well not to make them too frequent spectators of the sufferings of the poor and destitute, at an age when they are incapable, by their own efforts, of doing anything toward alleviating the distress they see; for while, with some dispositions, there is danger that their feelings should be rendered callous by the frequency of such spectacles; with others, there is equal danger of acquiring a habit of seeking the relief of the suffering under the pretence of kindness, when the chief or only motive of such kindness is the relief of their own feelings. To accustom children to remember the poor when not present, to lay by for their relief, some portion of the money given for their own use, or to spend a little time now and then, in working for their comfort, is a far more likely method of inspiring sentiments of true kindness, then merely to encourage them to be kind or generous at the time when their feelings are worked upon by the presence of distress.

In making free use of the expressions praise and blame, I should be sorry to be understood to mean that the approbation, even of a mother, should become the leading motive, in the conduct of a child, beyond that early stage of its existence, when it is incapable of