Page:The Mikado or the town of titipu.djvu/32

 Come, my poor fellow, we all have unpleasant duties to discharge at times; after all, what is it? If I don't mind, why should you? Remember, sooner or later it must be done.

(springing up suddenly). Must it? I'm not so sure about that!

What do you mean?

Why should I kill you when making an affidavit that you've been executed will do just as well? Here are plenty of witnesses— the Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Commander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury, and Chief Commissioner of Police.

But where are they?

There they are. They'll all swear to it— won't you? (To )

Am I to understand that all of us high Officers of State are required to perjure ourselves to ensure your safety!

Why not? You'll be grossly insulted, as usual.

Will the insult be cash down, or at a date?

It will be a ready-money transaction.

(Aside.) Well, it will be a useful discipline. (Aloud.) Very good. Choose your fiction, and I'll endorse it! (Aside.) Ha! ha! Family Pride, how do you like that, my buck?

But I tell you that life without Yum-Yum—

Oh, Yum-Yum, Yum-Yum! Bother Yum-Yum! Here, Commissionaire (to ), go and fetch Yum-Yum. (Exit ) Take Yum-Yum and marry Yum-Yum, only go away and never come back again. (Enter with ) Here she is. Yum-Yum, are you particularly busy?

Not particularly.

You've five minutes to spare?

Yes.

Then go along with his Grace the Archbishop of Titipu; he'll marry you at once.

But if I'm to be buried alive?

Now don't ask any questions, but do as I tell you, and Nanki-Poo will explain all.

But one moment—

Not for worlds. Here comes the Mikado, no doubt to ascertain whether I've obeyed his decree, and if he finds you alive I shall have the greatest difficulty in persuading him that I've beheaded you. (Exit and  followed by ) Close thing that, for here he comes! [Exit