Page:The Mahabharata (Kishori Mohan Gangopadhyay, First Edition) Volume 16.djvu/10

 The Āçramavāsika Parva is completed. The Mausala is taken up. Of the eighteen Parvas, the Mausala is the sixteenth. Besides the Mausada, therefore, there are two Parvas still, viz., the Mahāprasthānika and the Swargārohanika. If I succeed in ascending one rung more, there will still remain the top-most one. Whether I shall succeed in reaching the topmost rung is known only to the Omniscient Lord who befriended the Pāndavas in their sorest trials and whose compassion for the distressed, if they rely on Him, is unbounded. I have set my whole heart on the accomplishment of the task. If notwithstanding all my exertions, failure instead of success be mine, the reproach, I am persuaded, will not be mine, for I am but a purdanashin Hindu widow whose utmost resources can achieve very little. Assisted by his friends and patrons my husband was able to issue 94 fascicules. Since his demise I have been able to issue 4 fascicules within a period of eight months. I have unhesitatingly devoted my little stridhan to the purpose. Not only has that little been swallowed up, but I have been obliged to supplement it by debts. I have addressed applications to almost all the patrons of my husband, including the several local Governments and the princes and chiefs of India. A Hindu widow can do no more. The results of those applications is still unknown. I have not, however, abandoned hope. Hope that sustains all men in distress is sustaining me. I am adding to my debt and the debts left me by my husband, for the completion of the enterprise is my chief Vrata or vow of life. For my part, I shall spare no pains to perform the Avabhrata or final bath with which that Vrata is to end. At times, however, hope fails to cheer me. The issue is in the hands of the All~powerful and All-merciful Father of the universe. May His will be done!

Next to the Lord Hari who never abandoned my husband, my reliance is on those friends and patrons who always responded to my husband's appeals. It is impossible to think