Page:The London Magazine, volume 7 (January–June 1823).djvu/513

 march, old witch!” This harmless expression she took in such ill part, that, for mere peace’ sake, he was obliged to lead her to the door and shut her out: and then, undressing himself, he stept into bed; and, in defiance of the straw which every-where stuck out, and a quilt of a hundred weight, he sunk into a deep slumber under the agreeable serenade of those clamorous outcries which Mrs. Sweetbread still kept up on the outside of the door.

“Fire and furies!” exclaimed Mr. Schnackenberger, as Juno broke out into uproarious barking about midnight: the door was opened from the outside; and in stepped the landlady, arrayed in a night-dress that improved her charms into a rivalry with those of her sign at the street-door; accompanied by a fellow, who, by way of salutation, cracked an immense hunting-whip.

“So it’s here that I’m to get my own again?” cried the fellow: and forthwith Mr. Jeremiah stepped out of bed, and hauled him up to the light of the lamp which the landlady carried.

“Yes, Sir,” said the rough-rider, “it’s I, sure enough;” and, to judge by the countenance of his female conductor, every accent of his anger was music of the spheres to her unquenchable wrath: “I’m the man, sure enough, whose horse you rode away with; and that you’ll find to be a true bill.”

“Rode away with!” cried Mr. Jeremiah: “Now, may the sweetest of all thunderbolts” “but, rascal, this instant what’s to pay? then take thy carrion out of the stable, and be off.” So saying, Mr. Schnackenberger strode to the bed for his well-filled purse.

On these signs of solvency, however, the horse-dealer turned up the gentler phasis of his character, and said, “Nay, nay; since things are so, why it’s all right; and, in the Lord’s name, keep the horse as long as you want him.”

“Dog! in the first place, and firstly, tell me what’s your demand? in the second place, and secondly, go to the

But whilst the rough-rider continued with low bows to decline the first offer, being satisfied, as it seemed, with the second, the choleric Mr. Schnackenberger cried out, “Seize him, Juno!” And straightway Juno leaped upon him, and executed the arrest so punctually—that the trembling equestrian, without further regard to ceremony, made out his charge.

Forthwith Mr. Jeremiah paid down the demand upon the table, throwing in something extra, with the words, “That for the fright.” The dealer in horse-flesh returned him a thousand thanks; hoped for his honour’s further patronage; and then, upon being civilly assured by Mr. Jeremiah, that if he did not in one instant walk down the stairs, he would, to his certain knowledge, have to fly down them; the rough-rider, in company with the landlady, took a rapid and polite leave of Mr. Schnackenberger; who was too much irritated by the affront to compose himself again to sleep.

Day was beginning to dawn, when a smoke, which forced its way through the door, and which grew every instant thicker and more oppressive, a second time summoned Mr. Schnackenberger from his bed. As he threw open the door, such a volume of flames rolled in from the staircase which was already on fire from top to bottom—that he saw there was no time to be lost: so he took his pipe, loaded it as quickly as possible, lighted it from the flames of the staircase, began smoking, and then, drawing on his pea-green coat and buckling on his sword, he put his