Page:The Lady's Book Volume I 1830.pdf/6

Rh had never been the slightest congeniality of feeling subsisting between us. I had always instinctively avoided him, and he suffered no opportunity to escape of showing his aversion for me. The affections of early life oftentimes are destroyed as flowers overrun by weeds ; they fade, and die, and never spring up again. Not so our dislikes. That which was but a seed in childhood, takes deep root in the genial soil, and is nourished by the very essence of our nature, until, in after life, we behold it standing forth as the oak of the forest, resisting all shocks and casting a deep shade over all that comes within its influence. At least, it has been so with me. He gazed at me as he passed as if he retained an indistinct recollection of having seen me before. I was paralyzed at the sight of him. The sudden appearance of a tenant of the grave could not have filled me with such terror. I turned away, in hopes he would not know me, and he passed on. I hurried home more dead than alive, and hastily locked the door after me, still doubting my safety.

Days elapsed before I ventured abroad. My fears and absence from her I loved, rendered my solitude insupportable. I dared not explain to her the cause of my strange conduct-she was surrounded by admirers, worshipped by the favourites ofthe world, and every breath of air that approached her was laden with the aspirations of devoted hearts. I was fully aware of this, and I knew how delicate a plant is love-it droops and dies in the shade, and my heart sunk within me at the thought that my apparent neglect might estrange her feelings from me. I reproached myselfwith cowardice, for happiness was within my grasp and yet I had not the courage to be any thing but wretched. I again summoned my resolution, felt prepared to encounter the worst, and with an unfaltering step I left my place of concealment.

It was night as I approached the dwelling of the only being I cared to see. As I came in front ofthe house I beheld it illuminated and heard the sounds of revelry within. My fears again rushed on my mind and I hesitated whether to enter or return. " Coward," I exclaimed, " what death can equal a life of constant dread !" I paused but for a moment on the threshold and entered. The apartment was filled with light hearts and smiling faces ; I looked around, passing with indifference many a brilliant beauty, until my anxious eyes fell upon the sylph-like figure of my beloved. Sadness was seated on her pale brow, but no sooner did she discover me, than a gentle blush tinged her lily white cheeks, and she hastened to where I stood. Her hand trembled as she placed it in mine, and the colour of her cheek became of a deeper die, as she bade me welcome. The faded brow, the blush, the trembling hand, spoke too plainly what I scarcely dared to hope, and such was the ecstacy of my feelings, that it appeared to me as if the happiness of an entire life was concentrated in that single moment.

O, woman! thou best and loveliest work of the master hand! Thou art to the human race as the

sun to the universe. Darkness is dissipated by thy presence, and virtues that otherwise would run to weeds in the rude heart of man, are drawn forth and fostered, until they blossom and bear fruit, in the sunshine of thy countenance. In his youth, thou art more beautiful to him than the wonders of paradise were to the new created Adam; and when in the vale of life, weary and wayworn, still he turns to thee to cheer him on his journey. He looks back, and his heart confesses that his purest and most cherished joys sprung from thee ; he looks forward, and though the view presents nothing but darkness and gloom, and the weight of the world be on him, thou smilest, and he rises renovate, like the aged Æson beneath the magic influence of the daughter of Æetes.

The joy I experienced on our meeting might be compared to the vivid flash of lightning that precedes the roll of the thunder ; it was as brilliant and as fleeting. As I looked through the assemblage, I beheld the being whom most I dreaded, and whom most I hated-he who had passed me in the street a few days before. His eyes were fixed upon me ; my first impulse was to fly, but I had not the power: my head sunk upon my bosom and I remained silent and motionless, while he approached and accosted me by name. A name that I had not heard for years, and one, that I trusted had been forgotten. Every earthly hope withered at the sound.

He no sooner left me than I withdrew to conceal my confusion. The sudden change that had come over me escaped the notice of all but one, and she followed me to learn the cause. I hurried out of the house in silence, and still she followed, beseeching me to explain my mysterious conduct. Still I hurried on with the feelings of a felon who has escaped from prison, and hears the cry of his pursuers. At length I paused beneath the portico of a chapel, and we concealed ourselves in the deep shade of its columns. 1 trembled as I took her by the hand.

" For mercy's sake," she exclaimed, “ what means this agitation ?"

" The time has come, beloved one, when we must part."

" Must part!"

" Yes, forever!" ▾

She faintly repeated, " Forever!" and her languid head fell upon my bosom.

" I am a proscribed wretch-a burden on the face of the earth-there is no resting place for my foot here I must continue to be the persecuted of man, until I find a refuge in the narrow confines of the grave."

" And wherefore should we part ? If grief is your lot, so much the greater need of one to share it with you."

I pressed her yielding form to my bosom, and my heart was too full to speak until relieved by a flood of tears.

" Thou devoted one, thou art incapable of estimating the sacrifice thou wouldst make for me. I am an isolated being ; hopeless, cut off from communion with mankind. Return to thy