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 78 PHILOSOPHY OF A BALL - ROOM.

contain them. We propose that two on a very large scale should be erected, which may bear their different names.

There is a small community, commonly called " Prudes . " A prude is a female Diogenes , who rails at people of fashion , as if there was some- thing essentially wrong in their pursuits. She is quite shocked by the figurantes at the Opera, horrified by the indecorous costume made use of at the theatres , and put to the blush by being told of an elopement ; she never opens a novel , or reads a newspaper , for fear the purity of her mind should be contaminated by their contents ; and faints at the sight of a footman with his coat off. This amiable race of individuals, though not , we are afraid , very numerous , have at least the advantage of being very select. To them it would be of incalculable benefit to be separated from the wickedness of the world, and to pass their lives in the pleasing employment , ( if such a thing were possible , ) of finding out each others virtues.

We have frequently met with a vast number of young ladies, who seemed to breathe nothing but sighs , and speak nothing but sentiment— who have the happy faculty of being continually in love , between the years of fifteen and twenty. It matters little whether the object of affection be humble or exalted. Love levels all distinc- tions. The " sweet youth " possesses the virtues of a prince, though the unjust fates have made him an ensign. These are the chameleons of society - they feed upon poetical quotations, and a love tale provides them with a day's meal.— They may be recognised by a downcast eye , a blushing cheek , and a slow tread ; or a book and a sofa. These may be called the " Sentimentals, " and when collected together , may , instead of wasting their time in imaginary attachments , probably learn how to love each other.

We come now to another numerous class, whose sole happiness consists in taking off the peculiarities of those around them. These are a witty, lively , and kind - hearted community , com- monly called " Quizzers . " From one of the most admirable of the kind , we beg to render our ac- knowledgments , for having favoured us with the idea from whence this paper originated. Quiz- zing, we beg to say , is a gift ; that it comes from heaven , is more than we shall assert ; but it cer- tainly is a genius which cannot be acquired. The genuine " Quizzer " may be immediately known by a sparkling eye, and a restless tongue ; a smiling mouth , and an oval cheek , possessing probably , the advantage of a dimple , to give the features an expression of archness and vivacity. They are a quick - witted generation ; nothing escapes their notice, and they frequently perform their operations with so much skill , as to make their victim totally unaware of their object. We think that if this cleverness were confined to themselves, it would produce a wonderfully good effect ; and therefore , a Club of professed Quiz- zers could not possibly be objected to.

We have now enumerated the different classes into which the ladies should be divided. We have heard, indeed , that there are others , called " Scolds " and " Vixens ; " but we are so charita- ble as to believe , that , like Mammoths and Le- viathans , they no longer exist. If there should remain any class undescribed, they may unite together under the name of " Junior Ladies . " We trust the adoption of this suggestion will be followed by all the benefits we have already no- ticed , and many for which we can find no room. All innocent and agreeable pleasures may be cultivated in these Clubs ; which may form se- parate Gardens of Eden, with the advantage of not possessing any forbidden fruit , to lead into temptation the daughters of Eve.

From a London Journal.

PHILOSOPHY OF A BALL - ROOM.

Ir is an amusing thing to stand in the out- skirts of what Lord Mulgrave terms the gown- tearing, tugging , riving mob of a London ball- room , and speculate on the motives and views of the individuals of which it is composed. " Je suis ici pour mon grandpere, " said the Duc de Rohan , at a seance of the French Academy. “ Et moi pour ma grammaire, " replied the Abbe de Le- vizac . " I am here in honour of my grandfather , " might be observed by many a Fitzroy , Seymour , Somerset , or Bentinck at Almack's ; - " And 1 , in honour of my daughter , or niece , or protegee , " would be an apt rejoinder from half the ancient dames stationary on the satin sofas of the sanc- tuary.

For a given number of personages, of propor- tionate means and condition of life , to meet to- gether for purposes of mutual amusement , is , in the abstract , a very reasonable employment of

their superfluous time and superfluous coin. But in these days of sophistication, few things are to be considered in so bald and definite a point of view ; and of the three or four hundred human beings congregated together during the months of June and July , in certain " matchless and magnificent mansions , " - garnished by Gunter with a sufficiency of pines and spring chickens , and by Michaud with minikin Collinet and his flageolet - we venture to assert that scarcely fifty are brought within its portals by a view to mu- tual entertainment.

First, in the list of guests , are those who go be- cause they are apprehensive of being classed among the uninvited ; labouring through the toils of the toilet solely to prove their right of being there. Next come the idlers, who fly to the throng in the hope of getting rid of them- selves ; finding it far more charming to yawn