Page:The Ladies' Cabinet of Fashion, Music & Romance 1832.pdf/9

Rh certainly broke the articles of war ten times a day, by privately wishing my captain and his mistress as well married as any couple could possibly be. But the recollection of the man that never in his life had quite lived, caused me to swear on the altar of patriotism, that I would carry arms till the speck of war was removed, though I plunged up to the middle in mud, before the windows of the beautiful damsel. I continued, therefore, to trudge right gallantly up one street and down another, with my musket that seemed like the world on the shoulders of Atlas, solacing myself, by privately cursing the captain for leading us every day such a dance. Fatigue and vexation combined, however, worked a surprising effect upon me ; I could sleep comfortably at night, I felt no inclination to sleep in the day, I enjoyed my dinner with wonderful gusto, and began to hold the nightmare, the blue devils, and the dyspepsia, in defiance. In process of time war disappeared from the horizon. Our company laid down its arms, and I was in great danger of backsliding, having declined an invitation to become an officer of artillery ; but whenever I found myself relapsing into my old habits, I unlocked my secretary, took out the mischievous epigram, and felt myself inspired to mind my own business, ride a hard-trotting horse, get married, or any other deed of daring.

I determined to take the management of my property into my own hands, and attend to my own affairs, which I had hitherto intrusted to the management of a man who had, I believe, been pretty reasonable in not cheating me out ofmore than was sufficient to provide for himself and his family. I went to him, and desired a statement of my accounts, with a degree of trepidation that gave me the heart-burn. The man looked at me with equal dismay. Never were two people more frightened ; I at the thought of gaining trouble, and he of losing profit. Finding me, however, peremptory, he in a few days presented me with a statement of his accounts, which exhibited a balance against me of a couple of thousands. It puzzled me how this could be; but it would have puzzled me ten thousand times more to find it out. I thought of applying to some experienced friend to examine into the affair; but I had no such friend, and to trust to a stranger, was to incur the risk of still greater impositions. Accordingly, I paid the money, glad to get off so well, and resolved hereafter to trust only to myself, even though I should be cheated every day.

No one knows the trouble I had from misunderstanding my affairs, or the losses I sustained in consequence of my utter