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Rh unless one accepts it as a trial sent by God." The calm state which was created through the influence of these thoughts was only short-lived. His heart began soon again to pain and he "wants to cry over himself, over the remnant of his life which is being futilely ruined."

His surrounding life which tortured him called forth long periods of agony, dejection and fall of spirits. But with the thoughts about love towards enemies, there came to him the urge to look upon his work, as the work of love which was given to him, and again peace possessed him, "because a loving one." But soon again this peace became principally an outer one, and within himself he again wavered. Again he is "ashamed and depressed because of the consciousness of the lawlessness of his life." After a month, he makes an entry in his Journal, but tears it out, putting only the words, "A bad and sterile month" and adds, "Have torn out, burned, what I have written in heat." Then for a long time he wrote nothing, and during this time he "lived through much that was difficult and good." On the 8th of July he wrote his very famous letter to his wife, which she received after his death, which began with the words, "It