Page:The Journal of Leo Tolstoy.djvu/42

 The Journal of Leo Tolstoi [1896

3) It is impossible to compel reason to exam- ine and clarify that which the heart does not wish.

4) It is bad when reason wishes to give the meaning of virtue to selfish efforts.

Kudinenko 43 was here. A remarkable man. N. took the oath and is serving. 44 A letter from Makovitsky 45 with an article on the Naz- arenes. 46 Jan. 24. Moscow. If I live.

Jan. 25. Moscow.

During these two days the chief event was the death of Nagornov. Always new and full of meaning is death. It occurred to me : they repre- sent death in the theatre. Does it produce Koooooo of that impression which the nearness of a real death produces?

I continue writing the drama. I have written four acts. All bad. But it is beginning to re- semble a real thing. Jan. 26. Mosc. If I live.

January 26. Moscow.

I am alive, but I don't live. Strakhov to- day I heard of his death. 47 To-day they buried Nagornov and that is news. I lay down to sleep, but could not sleep, and there appeared before me so clearly and brightly, an un- derstanding of life whereby we would feel

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