Page:The Journal of Leo Tolstoy.djvu/29

 he would have inevitably believed in, had he not trusted the other one. He who believes in etc., ceases to believe in reason. They even say straight out, one ought not to believe in reason.

3)

A very interesting letter from Holland, about what a youth is to do who is called to military service, when he is the sole supporter of his mother.

''November 10. Y. P.''

Slept with difficulty. Weakness both physical and intellectual and—for which I am at fault—also moral. Rode horseback. Posha arrived A wonderful French pamphlet about war. Yes, 20 years are needed for that thought to become a general one. My head aches and seems to crackle and rumble. Father, help me when I am most weak that I may not fall morally. It is possible.

''Nov. 11. Y.P. If I live.''

I write and think: it is possible that I won't be. Every day I make attempts, and I get more accustomed to it.

To-day November 75.

I have been so weak all the time I could write nothing except a few letters. A letter to