Page:The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow, a Book for an Idle Holiday - Jerome (1886).djvu/160

 lasts me a very long while, I can tell you. I only wear it when—well, never mind when I wear it. IIt [sic] lasts me a very long while. I've had my present one five years. It was rather old-fashioned last summer, but the shape has come round again now, and I look quite stylish.

But to return to our young man and his courting. If he starts off with the top hat and umbrella, the afternoon turns out fearfully hot, and the perspiration takes all the soap out of his moustache, and converts the beautifully-arranged curl over his forehead into a limp wisp, resembling a lump of seaweed. The Fates are never favourable to the poor wretch. If he does by any chance reach the door in proper condition, she has gone out with her cousin, and won't be back till late.

How a young lover, made ridiculous by the gawkiness of modern costume, must envy the picturesque gallants of seventy years ago! Look at them (on the Christmas cards), with their curly hair and natty hats, their wellshaped legs encased in smalls, their dainty Hessian boots, their ruffling frills, their canes, and dangling seals. No wonder the little maiden in the big poke bonnet and the light blue sash, casts down her eyes, and is completely won. Men could win hearts in clothes like that. But what can you expect from baggy trousers and a monkey jacket?

Clothes have more effect upon us than we imagine. Our deportment depends upon our dress. Make a man get into seedy, worn-out rags, and he will skulk along