Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 25.pdf/483

 USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING First Street Urchin (at the reception given to Lord Haldane in Montreal at the galleries of the Art Association). — "What be all these fellers doin' here?" Second Street Urchin. — "They are all lawyers except the judges." Lord Haldane, asked by a reporter in Montreal if he had brought the Great Seal over with him, is said to have replied that he understood a large fish had followed his boat, and he "had no doubt that it was the Great Seal." One of the briefest and queerest wills on record is that of an old Western farmer who, though reputed to be rich, died penniless. His will ran: "In the name of God, amen. There's only one thing I leave, I leave the earth. My relatives have always wanted that. They can have it." — Exchange. Pat, who was left-handed, was being sworn in as a witness in the West side court of Denver, Col. "Hold up your right hand," said the judge. Up went Pat's left hand. "Hold up your right hand," commanded the judge, sternly. "Sure, and I am, yer honor," declared Pat. "Me right hand's on me left side." — Woman's Home Companion.

"You say a pedestrian has rights the same as a motor car?" asked the querulous person. "Certainly," replied the policeman. "Well, mebbe he has. But I can't help won dering what would happen to me if I went along the street making the same kind of a noise as some of these automobile horns." — Washington Star. "Yes," exclaimed the young man, "I've fin ished my legal education at last!" "And now," said the friend, "you'll sit down and wait for clients." "I will not," replied the new attorney. "I've got a job promised — meCleveland in a dryPlain goodsDealer. store."

"The young fellow who's coming to see you, Elsie, must be a lawyer." "What makes "Because I notice you whenever think that, he father?" comes to court he always pleads for a stay." — Baltimore Ameri can. "Well, son, now that you've graduated, what are you going to be?" "I think I'd like to be a lawyer, sir. There's a good deal of money passes through a lawyer's hands, isn't there?" "He never lets it pass through if he knows his business, my son." — Boston Transcript.

In view of the pressure of material supplied by the meeting of the American Bar Association it has seemed better to omit this month some of the regular departments of the GREEN BAG, which will be resumed in the next issue.