Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 24.pdf/358

 The Editor's Bag II Recently before a General Court Martial at Fort Sheridan, Ill., a Jew was called to testify and establish his title to some stolen property. When he took the witness stand the President of the Court, an old Colonel, addressed him as follows : — "Will you please rise and be sworn." The witness, smiling an assent, rose from his seat, put on his low-brimmed hat, raised his right hand, and adjusted his face in pleasurable expectation. "Take off your hat," ordered the Colonel. "Very veil," responded the Hebrew, slowly obeying. "Now be sworn," directed the Col onel. Casting furtive glances at the Colonel, the witness cautiously put on his hat again and raised his hand. "Take off your hat and be sworn," roared the Colonel in anger. The witness trembled, and in a sor rowful voice said : "Veil, I can svear vithout my hat on, but it is no good. I vants a good svear, because I vants my property." "Put on your hat then!" thundered the Colonel. Ill RUDOLPH, the office boy, was sent over to court to have the case continued when called. "On what ground do you want a continuance, "asked the judge. "Well, I don't know — I just want a continuance, that is all — I don't know on what ground," replied he rather embarassed. "But you must have some ground or you can't get a continuance here. Haven't you any defense, or —" "No — no, that is the ground —no

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defense. My brother said he didn't have any, but if he could get a continu ance for a month he probably could find some way to beat a judgment on it." IV THE office boy was sent over by the attorney for the defendant to watch the call of the case for trial, with the positive instructions not to let the plaintiff get a judgment, but to de feat him in any possible way and to have the case continued and set as far ahead as possible. The boy did not return to the office until next morning, when the attorney said to him: "I see by the Law Bulle tin that you got a continuance in that case until the last day of next month. I want to compliment you on your good work. I was afraid I would have to let them take a judgment against me." The lad's chest swelled with pride, as he proudly said, "Yes, I tell you I had a hard time to do it though. You see the plaintiff did not show up, and the judge kept insisting continually that he would dismiss the suit on him. I re sisted it successfully every time, and not until I had waited all day for the plaintiff to show up would he give me the continuance I asked for." "What!" roared the attorney. "The judge wanted to dismiss, and you wouldn't let him?" "Yes, sir — no, sir —" stammered the boy. "He insisted upon dismissing it, yes, sir, but you told me to get a continuance, and I got it — twice as long as you asked for, too. Wasn't it right?"

HIS AUTHORITY AT THE trial of a cause before a justice of the peace in a Southern state, a decidedly novel legal authority