Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 24.pdf/324

 The Serenader BY DAN C. RULE, JR.

IT was an ardent lover and a member of the bar Who stripped the green baize cover from his grandpa's old guitar, And to serenade his lady with a ballad and a tune To her darkened window strayed he underneath the midnight moon. Since the maiden made a bee line to her windowpane to see If it were the family feline or a stray calliope That was making all the racket, when he touched the quivering string, We have evidence to back it when we say she heard him sing : "Maiden with the glossy tresses And the eyes of azure hue, Your petitioner confesses His adoring love for you. If you, as a favor regal, Would on him your love bestow, It would be entirely legal And a priceless quid pro quo." Then the maiden's father testy, muttering phrases we deplore, Most emphatically professed he never heard such strains before, And, convinced the youth had caroled long enough and longer still, Seized his shotgun double-barreled, sighted it with care until He was sure its loads terrific would just miss his daughter's swain, Then with chuckles beatific pressed upon the triggers' twain. But the vocalist courageous undismayed by ball and powder, In his baritone outrageous bravely howled a trifle louder : "Since you hold my heart as bailee, It's presumed you understand That at any time it may be Taken back upon demand. If my love is no attraction, And tonight my heart you spurn, I will bring a civil action To compel its prompt return." Now this thoughtful lady knew that those who can superbly sing Are quite prone to say they'll do that or they won't do anything. Though unable to endure the song he sang and tune he played her, That was why she was so sure she loved her skilless serenader, Not in vain his words besought her, for she coyly murmured, "Pop, Tell him he can have your daughter if he will consent to stop!"

J