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The Green Bag

“No, sir—in my opinion, he could

A Nevada lawyer, who evidently was

a heap — then he is drunk." “I agree with you. When do you say

possessed of considerable sense of humor, wrote to the ﬁrm annotating the rubber stamp on his bill with the following inscription: “Of all the words that are sung or spoke, the saddest of all are 'I am broke.’" The rubber stamp was banished forth

he is disorderly?"

with.

not." “Well, now then when do you con

sider a man drunk?” l‘When he is so intoxicated that he can't stand up — when he falls down in

“When he is disorderly - the accused

was so drunk he couldn't move — he couldn't even say a word — how could he be disorderly?" “Yet he was not disorderly?" “No, sir; he was not — he never even moved."

“Take the witness," angrily concluded the Judge Advocate.

HE Keefe-Davidson Company of Paul,

Minn.,

inform

"John Truelove was recently sued for divorce in Paterson, N. 1.

He married two wives both

of whom appeared against him. —News Item.

OHN TRUELOVE loved not truly His first wife, or 'tis sure

He'd not make haste unduly A second to procure. He surely loved not wisely But did he love two well?

A DUN OUTDONE St.

FALSE TRUELOVE

us

that they recently devised a rubber stamp for use in collecting bills, bearing the following motto: “Of all the words that are spoke or writ, the saddest of

We can't split hairs too nicely When there's a tale to tell. It made him lots of trouble

To marry twice, forsooth, An illustration double True love’s not always smooth.

all are, ‘please remit.’"

Snuus Smmcvs.

The Editor will I: glad to nur'wfn fln': defer-hunt anything like!) ta ndn'im'n “a reader: of “0 Guns Bag in the way of legal anli'quiﬁu, funds, and caudal”.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING “I was counsel for the railway," said a law yer recently, “and I won the case for the defense mainly on account of the testimony of an old colored man, who was stationed at the crossing. When asked if he had swung his lantern as a warning, the old man swore positively: "‘I surely did.’ “After I had won the case I called on the old negro," said the lawyer,

“and complimented

him upon his testimony. He said: "Thankee, Marse Jawn, I got along all right but I was awfully scared, 'cause I was 'fraid dat lawyer man was goin' to ask me was my lantern lit. De oil done give out befo' de accident.’" -- Central Law Journal.

Til-Bil: has unearthed an old yarn, but it is good. Counsel was intent on making a point as to time. He thundered at the witness. “You swear. do you, that by the clock in your house it

was exactly nineteen minutes past ten?" "I do." The lawyer paused and looked triumphantly at the jury. At last he had entrapped the witness into a contradictory statement that would greatly weaken his evidence.

“I think that will do," he

said, with a wave of his hand. The farmer picked up his hat and started to leave the witness-box. “I ought, perhaps, to say," he added, “that too much reliance should not be

placed upon that clock, as it got out of gear about six months ago, and it's been nineteen minutes past ten ever since."