Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 23.pdf/589

 The Editor's Bag tinguished for its unanimous opinions —

551

"Yes, sir, that is right. I teach them always to kick a skunk when they meet

a circumstance which usually may safely be taken to indicate a strong Chief Jus tioe. His retirement means a very seri ous loss to the Massachusetts bench.

one." The third anecdote is that of a Bap

THREE SALEM STORIES

amined upon the witness stand on a very shady matter. The opposing law yer, after asking his name, said, “And what is your occupation?" Drawing himself up and assuming his

HREE anecdotes have been handed to us by a lady, as she heard them from the lips of her father, an honored citizen of Salem, Massachu setts, since deceased. Two of them

dealt with his own experiences. Hon. Mr. N ., a well-known member of the Essex bar, had the reputation of

carrying great weight with the jury. He had just won a difﬁcult case against a man who seriously resented the verdict. He was overheard complaining to his friends: “I expected sure to get that case. My lawyer did well and I did

not worry until that old N. got up.

He

straightened himself up, turned toward that jury; he opened his mouth and his great onion eyes stuck out, and I knew

tist clergyman who was being cross-ex

most pious look, he solemnly replied, “Sir, I am a candle of the Lord!" “O," said the lawyer, "you are a clergy man then —— of what denomination, may

I ask?" “I am of the Baptist denomination." "Ah, then you are a dip candle."

DRUNK AND DISORDERLY? HE accused, a private in the United

States Army, was on trial before a General Court Martial on a charge of drunkenness and disorderly conduct. The main witness for the prosecution had turned rather hostile and was being

that my case was a goner." Mr. N. had graduated a large number of students from his office in the days

severely cross-examined by the prose cutor, the Judge Advocate, as he is called.

when law schools were not yet. One day in the court house, a very cantankerous

cused drunk and disorderly?” he asked.

man had just lost his case to one of Mr. N.’s boys. Meeting the young man soon after he gave way to very unjust and abusive remarks —— with the result

that he was kicked out of the room. Smarting under this treatment he en countered Mr. N. and turned his unbri

dled tongue upon him: "One of your students, Squire N., has just kicked me out of the room; it is not so long since another man from

your office pounded a fellow just Outside the court house. It must be that you teach your students such tric ." Mr. N. stopped, looked the man

carefully over, and calmly replied:

"How, in your opinion, was the ac "He was drunk, but not disorderly," replied the witness. “Is not a man who is drunk also dis orderly?" "No, sir, I wouldn't say the accused

was disorderly." "Answer my questions. Is not a man who is drunk, also disorderly?"

"No, sir.” "Could a man be drunk without be ing disorderly?" “Yes, sir.” "Could he be disorderly without being drunk?" "Yes, sir; I think it possible." "Could he be both drunk and dis orderly at the same time?"