Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 23.pdf/129

 The Editor's Bag

107

a banker ﬁnancing a transcontinental railroad scheme. The limit had appar ently been reached when Rosy came to him for a “loan" of two dollars.

iv all necissities has wint up becaus' iv th' new-fangled tariff?” Rosy had won the debate.

“Oh, I don't know, Rosy," said her employer, "you are living on your

AN HONEST VERDICT "I'LL see that you get a cold $500,”

wages for month after next, now. What do you want it for?"

"Shure, yer Honor,’ said Rosy (she

always addresses him with due formality),

whispered the defendant's lawyer

to the foreman of the jury, “if you can bring in a verdict of manslaughter."

"Oi wants to hiv a couple iv masses said for the ripose iv me mother's

And when they returned to the court room, sure enough that was the verdict. The lawyer profusely thanked the juror

soul."

as he paid him the money, assuring him

“But," expostulated the lawyer, "I thought that masses were only ﬁfty

he thought he must have had hard work to do it.

“Yes," sighed the juror, reﬁectively,

cents apiece."

"Faith, yer Honor," said Rosy, "an' they used to be, but hivent yez read in th' papers, yer Honor, how th' price

“it was tough work, but I got ’em together after awhile. You see, all the rest were for acquittal."

Tlu Editor will be glad to rua'vafor Uri: deﬁan‘menl anything likely to :ntzriain the flﬂdlf! of

the Gran Bag in the way of legal anliqmtin,faati¢, and anecdotal‘.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING Lord Westbury when at the bar was an impatient man with his juniors. On one occasion a junior repeatedly ed his leader to take a certain point, which t e latter per sisted was contemptible. The case went badly, and at last the leader took his junior's advice. The argument produced a marked eﬁect on the judge, and in the end judgment was given for Lord Westbury's client. After glancing at the 'udge, he turned around to his junior. "I do lieve," he muttered coldly, "this silly old man has taken your absurd point." —Canada Law journal. "Johnny, did you take that jam? Answer me this instant! ' "What jam, Ma P" "You know very well what jam. Did you take it?" "That's a leadingI question, ma. I can't incriminate myself.

"JOHNNY! ‘ "And besides, ma, it's no crime to take jjaem, because there's no mention of black ‘am in the Constitution."

“ o nny, I’m losing atience. Once more, did you take that jam" “Ma, I'd like a delay until next fall to my case. My witnesses have gone to Europe."

"You're overruled. destroy the evidence."

If I waited you might

"Then I want a change of venue." "Overruled. This is just as good a place as the woodshed." "Can I have a habeas corpus, Ma?" "Johnny, you're hurting your own case by all this uibbling. Come now, did you take it or di n't you?" “Ma, I'd like to appeal the case to some court that isn't in session." “Nonsense. This court is capable of tryin it. If you're guilty I want to know it, an if you're innocent I should think you'd be glad to have a chance to prove it. Are you "IIIOT MA l"—Ch1'4:ag0 Tribune. guilt or GUILTY, not guilty?" A newly-made ma istrate was ravely absorbed in a formidab e document. aisin his keen eyes, he said to the man who stood Patiently awaiting the award of justice: ‘Omcer, what is this man charged with?" "Bigotry, your worship. He's got three wives, ’ replied the oﬂicer. The new justice rested his elbows on the desk and placed his ﬁnger tips together. “Ofﬁcer," he said somewhat sternly, "what's

the use of all this education, all these evening schools, all the technical classes an’ what

not? Please remember, in any future like case, that a man who has marriedthree wives has not committed bi otry but tﬂgonometry. Proceed," _- incaln State Journal.