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The Green Bag

sued was not altogether partial with her aﬂ'ections. Campbell was employed to stand between the fair plaintiﬁ and the defendant's sheckels. There was evidence on behalf of the defendant that once upon a time one Roy Mailverne, a smart and good-looking country youth, had kissed the plaintiﬁ, and that she had not seriously objected. Roy was called in rebuttal to deny the base im putation. He did it vigorous1y—declared he never did such a thing, never even dreamed of it; could not imagine how such a wicked lie had gone abroad. Campbell took the immaculate Roy in hand on cross-examination. Nobody had warned him as to the sort of man Campbell was. He had stood the direct with conﬁdence, and flushed with triumph turned to the cross examiner, who drowsily suggested:— “Roy. you didn't steal into the kitchen where Miss M was making batter for ﬂap-jacks and kiss her?" "No, sir; I didn't." There was a brief pause, during which the examiner looked at his half-burned cigar meditatively. The audience began to titter. "Roy, you didn't steal up behind Miss M—— in the kitchen where she was—-" "I tell you I didn't kiss her at all!" said the witness, angrily. "At no where and no time?" said the lawyer gently. "At no where and no time!" There was another pause, as the inter rogator calmly knocked the ashes off his cigar, and studied the floor. _ "Roy," he said, ingratiatingly, "if you ha stolen into the kitchen and kissed Miss M— when she was mixing the things for johnnie cakes you'd be too much of a gentleman to admit it before all this crowd, wouldn't you?" In the laughter following the mild observa tion the witness failed to reach the signiﬁcance of the question. "Surel" he replied, decidedly; "I ain't no

Nannie tell-tale." "That's all, Roy,“ said the examiner, pleasantly, "you may run along home now." HELD HIS JOB HE local government of a district in the Great Smoky Mountains, east of Knox

won the friendship of the citizens and had retained his ofﬁce for twenty years. no candi~ date ever having been put up against him. Just before the last election an ambitious storekeeper succeeded in convincing many of the citizens that the entire local govern ment should be in the hands of one party, and he was duly announced as the Demo cratic candidate. The old Judge made no move, relying upon the illiteracy of the citizens and their respect for his power to help him out at the psycho logical moment. The morning of Election Day be mounted a barrel in front of the town tavern and announced that he was going to make his ﬁrst and last speech of the campaign. "Fellow citizens," he said, "I know you alls and you alls knows me. I know that you alls is all moonshiners, and you alls knows that I've saved every one of you from going to the penitentiary at least twenty times in the last twenty years, for you alls breaks the law as regular as the corn crop comes around. "Now I see plainly what you alls is trying to do-you want to turn me out. Well, mebbe you alls can, but I want to tell you this: I've got the Constitution of the United States and the Laws of the State of Tennessee locked up in my oﬁice, and if you alls don't re-elect me I'll burn 'em up and we will all go to Hell together." He was re-elected unanimously. SOME PECULIAR LAWS N the United States we pass so many laws each year that it is not surprising that the authorities forget to enforce many of them. We have, in fact, a perfect passion for making new laws, and if any one com plains that conditions bave not been im proved, we assure him that he must be mistaken, complacently pointing to the statute books. In Chicago, recently, an ordinance regulat ing the length of hat-pins created much out cry—though the reason for objection is not clear to a mere man. Chicago women would doubtless start a revolution if they lived in Lucerne, where a law forbids women wearing hats of more than eighteen inches diameter. or the wearing of foreign feathers and arti ﬁcial ﬂowers. If one wishes to wear ribbons

ville, Tennessee, had been for a long time in

of silk and gauze, a license must be procured,

the hands of the Democrats entirely with the exception of the Justice of the Peace, who was a Republican but who through his tact had

which costs eighty cents a year. Norway not long ago passed an act to the eﬁ'ect that any woman wishing to wed must ﬁrst present