Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 22.pdf/667

 A Nulliﬁed Divorce By LURANA W. SHELDON

HE case was on the calendar as Smithkins versus Green And every one was wondering what such a thing could mean, For even in New England, where they've wooden nutmegs still,

A wife went by her husband's name until she got a Bill. When 'Mandy Green was married to Jed Smithkins it was said She had a lot of notions about Suﬁrage in her head,

But no one ever once surmised she'd stick out for her claim “ That a woman of importance always kept her maiden name." But 'Mandy took to writing, and “Amanda Susan Green" Quite often in the papers and the magazines was seen, And ]ed——he tore his hair and raved-her doings made him say

“He wouldn't live with nobody that treated him that way!" He said he'd “ l'arn that wife of his her name was Smithkins too!" He'd “show her what was what some day and also who was who I" He “didn't want his wife to vote, nor lectur' day or night!" And all the men-folks in the place agreed that Jed was right. But 'Mandy had a stubborn will, and what was even more, She meant to raise all womankind so they could likewise soar; She meant to elevate her sex and show them they could be Quite independent of the men, exactly as was she. So when Jed couldn't clip her wings or even curb her tongue

He went around to Lawyer Fee's and his sad tale he sung, And when they wrote the paper out J'ed “ 'lowed" it should be seen He wanted separation from "Amanda Susan Green." From one Amanda Smithkins, wheresoever she “mout" be, He had no desire whatever to forevermore be free, "But ef thar warnt no sech person, 'twas plumb wicked," so he swore,

“Tew be harborin' a spinster in his homestead any more!" When Amanda saw the notice she was horriﬁed, of course, Though 'twas not that she objected to her freedom by divorce, But as she was highly moral she was mortally afraid

To be ﬁrst to go on record as a ten year wed old maid. So she ﬂew and told the lawyer he must quickly change the name She would be Amanda. Smithkins never mind what ever came! And that so upset the action that J'ed never got his Bill For at last accounts Amanda was Amanda Smithkins still.