Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 22.pdf/575

 The Editor’s Bag COULDN'T JUST TELL

THE prisoner at the bar was charged with assault and battery in common with two others who had been the chief oﬂenders. One of the witnesses, an Irishman, had

given a rather incoherent account of what had transpired and in an endeavor to straighten him out the judge leaned over his desk and

547

said: “Now, Patrick, tell me just what really did happen during that fight." Pat hesitated a moment, cleared his throat

and then whispering conﬁdentially to the judge, said: “Wull, yer Honor, Oi couldn't raaly tell yer mutch thot raaly happened, becuz, yer Honor, yer see Oi wuz undernaath

ther most uv ther toime."

A BOMBARDMENT Dodicatrd "with (or without) respect" to Gatling Gunn, K.C..P. Rolix, Esq., and others.

“If yr Hon'r pleases, would yr Hon'r allow me to suggest to m’ learn'd friend a few authorities

on the point?" I DREAMED that (sometimes) awful bore, th’ Amicus Curiae Arose before the Court in Bane, composed of Judges three. Regardless of the Bench he leaned and plucked me by the gown, And in a raucous whisper, which I Curteis tried to drown, Forced me to stop my argument and listen while he wheezed. (The Bench, who'd given their consent, looked anything but pleased.) He told us with what old Reports my argument to clinch, From Adam down to Carrington, with jacob, Finch, and Winch,

‘

And Godbolt, Dow, and Colles, Bligh, and Wolferstan & Dew, A Shower of Cases all Select, Choyce, Modcrn, Strange and New Then Notes of Cases, Moseley, Cruise,——-we saw their Honors Stair

Bingham, Barnardiston and Scott and Fountainhall were there. From East to West his fancy ranged, from Littleton to Cooke, From Forest, Peake, to Bunbury, to Eden, Lewin, Brook. I thought it Best ( & Smith agreed) to let him ramble on

To Hall & Twell's, to Lloyd & Gaold, Benloe & Dalison (You can't eLuder man like that, he‘ll Rolle off what he thinks And Cary on with Bell, Bellewe, Kay, Swanston, Vesey, Spinks). He Burrowed in the Year Books next, Welsh, Raymond, and Carthew, And called in jebb 8c Bourke to aid in driving home his view. Campbell and Goldesboro', Espinasse came tripping from his tongue Lutwyche and G010, McClelland, Rose, and Deacon, Vaughan, and Younge, Deane, Scott, Forbes, Bruce, Kames, Broun, and Hume, Syme, Hailes, White, Durie, Shaw

Were quoted to throw light upon that Harcase of the Law. “Vhat Price?" said I. "A little Knapp, I'm Haggard and in Payne." He hurried on, Moore, Keen, with Lofft, and Montagu and Lane. Then Leach, and Leigh, and Buck and Hare, Peere- Williams, Ridgway, Lee

No Freeman I, he simply hurled that catalogue at me. Then Pollexfen, and Siderﬁn, and Comberbach, and Latch,

Ventris Fonblanque, and Cunningham he gave me in a batch. “The Dickens I " Smith said, "I'm done Brown" (The Bench had long since gone); But still he added to the list with Gale & Davison,

llleeson é’ Welsby, Bacon, jones, and Plowden, il/lenzies, Hale, Moody & Malkin, Dyer, Croke, McQueen, De Gex & Smale. He gave us Ley, and Bulstrode, too. Then Ambler, Holt and Coke (I really couldn't keep awake) I heard when I awoke. What more he cited, what Reports he'd added while I slept I know not (and he's talking still). Across the Court I crept. We two alone remained. ‘Twas dark; I sneaked away at last, And found the Long Vacation on-a week of which had passed. F. R. BARLEE. Perth, Western Australia.