Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 22.pdf/336

 The Green Bag

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‘Mr. Cooper, didn't you say you wuz a law yer '

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘Well, tell me,' he said,

‘how can a man be a lawyer and a Christian?’ And I told him;

the train came;

crimes not the criminals are recognizable in my experience. All this well-dressed burglar business is sheer nonsense."

I jumped

on and was soon home again."

MURDER WITHOUT MALICE A REMARKABLE LAW HILE some remarkably worded laws have found their way into the statute books of this country, it is doubtful whether

any such ever created so much amusement as one of the early laws of Nebraska. According to the wording of this law, it committed any unfortunate justice to jail or made him pay costs, if he rendered judgment

in carrying out the requirements of the act.

HE Dean of the Suﬁolk School of Law, Boston, sends us the following gem from a freshman examination paper:—— "Where murder is committed without malice aforethought it is a case of manslaughter." HIS DELUSION E thought he was a lawyer, He hadn't any doubt, Because he got an oliice And put his shingle out.

The section referred to reads as follows :— "For the violation of the third section of an act to license and regulate the sale of malt, spirituous and vinous liquors. twenty-ﬁve dollars-and on proof of the violation of said section, or any part thereof. the justice shall render judgment for the whole amount of costs, and be committed to the common jail until the sum is paid."

NO ROMANCE IN CRIME

He thought his mind was legal Because he owned some books, But men are simple creatures,

They bank a lot on looks. He petted his deception Until he got a case And then he had suspicions That he was out of place.

“THE really great detective story where the solution of the problem is not to be found quite early on, and at the same time follows the probabilities of actual life, has yet to be written." So says Mr. Melville, former head of the Special Service Branch of Scot land Yard. “I used to read detective stories because I never was above learning, but I gave them up in the end. The writers set up their plots like so many ninepins aiming solely at knocking them down again. Neither the

When he was nearing forty Suspicions turned to fears, Poor man! he was deluded For over twenty years. At ﬁfty he exploded And came down with a chug Then spent old age in cussing That bloomin’ legal bug. HARRY R. BLYTHE.

The Editor an“ be glad to ncn'w for this dlparlnunl anything likely to entertain the "ad": of ﬂu Grnn Bag in tin way of logo! antiquities, fault'a. and anecdotes.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING “lYou are charged with larceny. Are you guit, or notguity?" "ot guilty, judge. I thought I was, but I've been talkin’ to my lawyer, an’ he's con vinced me that I ain’t."—Cathoh'c News. Magistrate (discharging prisoner)—"Now, then, I would advise you to keep away from bad company." Prisoner (feelingly)—“Thank you, sir. You won't see me here again." —Lippincott's.

Colonel Henry's hens last night. Have you any witnesses?" asked the ustice sternly. “Nussahl" said Brother ones humbly. “I ‘specks I’se sawtuh peculiar dat-uh~way, but it ain't never been mah custom to take wit nesses along when I oes out chicken stealin‘, suh."—Central Law aurnal. “Your husband, my dear, is a. self-made

man. He got his money by extremely hard work." “Why,” answered the fair bride, “I thought

his fortune was left to him b his uncle." "Yes, it was, but he had t e hardest work

“You are charged with stealing nine of

of his life getting it away from his lawyers." —Central Law journal.