Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 22.pdf/156

 142

The Green Bag

“I charge you that the exercise of plowing into a yellow jacket’s nest is conducive to a sentimental mood, and that most of our cele br'ated poets have in their early lives per formed such stunts as holding off the calves while the milking was going on. "Now, gentlemen of the jury, the plaintiﬁ alleges that the defendant Moore, did, know

ingly, feloniously and with malice afore thought, crawl around her, on various and divers occasions, on his bended knees, for hours

at a time, using every art and science known to ardent wooers of the male sex, since the time of Anthony and Cleopatra, quoting al leged poetry ad inﬁnitum, of which she sets out the following example :— "Alas for the wail of the whanglewane And the snore of the snark in the twilight pale. As the crawl krale up the window pane, Love me. love, in the gruesome gale."

"After twenty-two stanzas of about the same size winding up with the following;— “Gone is the whanglewaue weird and wold: Down to the gates of the nether land, Where the horn toads glide and the musty mold Eats the lily in my lost love's hand."

"Now, gentlemen, the great question before you to consider is, whether the doctrine of qui facit per alium facit per se shall prevail, or

whether the maxim handed to us from $010 mon, jacobus habeat ﬁlios duodecim inmquos Josephus, shall rule the country. It might be that the safer rule of sic semper tyranm's would apply. l‘Gentlemen, this Court, as well as the whole

body of society, rests conﬁdent of your ability to ﬁtly discharge your duty and to interpret the law I have given you in charge and to assimilate it with the evidence, returning a true verdict after you have thoroughly prog nosticated same. "You may exit and frame your verdict."

IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS OUNG men who desire to practise law must sigh for the good old times when the requirements for entering the profession were very simple. Gen. Roger A. Pryor, the Confederate general, who afterward became

a distinguished lawyer, was turned over to Hon. John B. Haskins to be interrogated as to his knowledge of law. The two repaired to a restaurant, and the ﬁrst question asked of Gen. Pryor was as to what constituted the essentials of the negotiability of a note. This was answered satisfactorily, as was also the next and last, “What will you take?"

The Editor will be glad to receive far this department anything likely to entertain the read": of the Green Bag m the way of legal antiquities, facatiaa, and anecdotes.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING The Reading Railway's lawyer was cross examining a ne woman who had sworn that she saw t e train hit a milk wa on whose bandaged driver had just testi ed. No, she had not heard the engineer blow any whistle. "How near were you to the train?" the lawyer asked her, sharpl.

.

She didn't know exact y. "But how far?” the lawyer persisted. "A mile or a square or what? How long would it have taken you to walk the distance?" “Suh," the witness re lied, haughtily, “dat would depend entire y on ma s eedl" —Philadelphia imes. A Durham farmer was traveling to London to consult a lawyer when the fear struck him that he had left certain important papers behind. He made a hurried search of his bag. “If I did leave those papers," he re marked, "I'm a fool!" Just as he was examin

in& the last bundle of papers he exclaimed: “ ell, I’ll bet I'm a fool." A man on the other side of the compartment lowered his newspaper for a moment and said slowly and deliberately: “Oblige me, sir, by laying a little money that same way for me." Richard

A.

Ballin er,

Secretary

of

the

Interior, tells of his rst law case which he had at Kankakee, Ill. "I had hung out my shingle a good while before any client arrived, ' he said.

“Finally, one came.

He was a

weak, meek being whom three determined women had wedded in rapid succession, and he was being tried for bigamy. As all of the wives appeared against him we lost the case. and he got a term of two years, but this did not seem to worry him-—-in fact, he seemed anxious for more. He was taken to the peni tentia, and just before his term ended I ot a etter from him. ‘Do you think,’ the igamist asked anxiously, ‘it will be safe for me to come out?’ "