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 Useless but Entertaining LEGAL ENGLISH AS an illustration of the peculiarities of the English sometimes used in legal docu ments, the following may be of interest:— "In the county court of Wyoming county [WestVa.], March 2nd, 1903. "On motion of William Allen Rollins, after having proved to the satisfaction of the court that he is suffering from Tuberclar Arthritis of the right knee which is showh by the certificate of Dr. Allen It is therefore ad judged and ordered that said William Allen Rollens do go to the Hospital No. 1 in McDowell county West Va. and there make application to be treated for the disease from which he is now suffering. But the court does not by this order intend to charge the county of Wyoming with the expenses of said William Allen Rollins, should he be received and treated at said Hospital, and a copy of this order shall be made by the clerk of this court and delivered to the said William Allen Rollins. The Court would further add that said Rollins is a very poor man."

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"Fifty dollars," was the prompt response. The client pulled out an old wallet, ex tracted a roll of bills, and counted out fifty dollars. "Now," he said, "you hev got all you would get out of this case anyhow, so s'pose you tell me honestly just what you think of my chances of winnin' a suit are?" THE LAWYER KNOWS BEST

THAT was a pretty good way of squelch ing a legal objection, as illustrated in the case of Gifford Pinchot, the United States Forester, at the recent Seventeenth National Irrigation Congress at Spokane. Ex-Judge Campbell of the Department of Justice, sitting beside Mr. Pinchot at a press banquet, made a long harangue upon the illegality of the Forestry Service, and then a personal attack upon Pinchot. When he was through, Mr. Pinchot, smiling as usual, told a single story which effectually closed the epi sode. It reminded him, he said—the wander ings of the legal mind reminded him—of the story of the Irishman who fell from a high GETTING AN OPINION building on which he was working. As he A SHREWD old Vermont farmer came lay on his back with his eyes shut, his palms into a lawyer's office the other day, and open upward, the doctor came and looked at proceeded to relative the circumstances in a him. "No good to do anything. He's dead," matter about which he thought it would be said the doctor. profitable to "go to law." Just then Pat rose up from his swoon and "You think I hev got a good case?" he started up the ladder again. The foreman finally asked. "Very good indeed I" the lawyer assured caught him by the arm. "Here, here, Pat," said the foreman. "Lie him. "You should certainly bring suit." "What would your fee be fer the whole down again, now, that's a good fellow. The doctor knows best, Pat." thing?" the old farmer asked. The Editor will be glad to receive for this department anything likely to entertain the readers of the Green Bag in the way of legal antiquities, facetite, and anecdotes.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING "Witness," interposed the judge, "do you "Wanted, solicitor, experienced in laundry or dye works, to drive wagon." know the meaning of 'veracity?' "I reckon I do. ' — Vancouver World. "What do you understand by the word?" The next witness was a hard-fisted, resolute The witness twirled his hat in his fingers a yeoman with a bristling chin beard. few moments without replying. Then he "Mr. Gigson," said the attorney for the looked up defiantly. defense, "are you acquainted with the repu "I refuse to answer that question, judge," tation of this man for truth and veracity in he said, "on the ground that it might dis the neighborhood in which he lives?" criminate me!"—Chicago Tribune. "I reckon I am," replied the witness. "I will ask you to state what it is." Most lawyers take a keen delight in trying "Well, sir, his rep'tation fur vrassity— to confuse medical experts in the witness well, that's diff'runt. Some says he does and box in murder trials, and often they get some says he don't." paid back in their own coin. A case is re