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The Green Bag

were pitted against one another, warring against admission of evidence and who should introduce the evidence first, the presiding Judge asked the attorneys what he was sitting there for, as they had paid no attention to him or his rulings. Judge Hubbard looked up with a smile upon his face and said, "Judge, you've got us now, I don't know." At one time during his later years Judge Hubbard was called into a case involving considerable property rights, where the oppos ing counsel called Judge Hubbard an old fogy who was behind the times, who might have been a great lawyer but who had forgotten all he had ever known. When the lawyer sat down all eyes were turned upon the old Judge, who was pale as a ghost. When he arose to reply to the bitter attack he said, "True, I am old, gray and worn and I suppose I am fast becoming an old moss back." Then he went on telling of the old lawyers he had known at the bar in Iowa in his time; he talked about the methods of the old advo cates, of their bitter fights and of their hard fought contests, legal and political, and turning to the counsel who had made the accusation, he said in words that rung with sarcasm and bitter invective : "However hardfought our contests, the lawyers of the olden times never tried to bolster up a witness, defraud an enemy or blackmail an opponent, as they do now. If the real up-to-date lawyer must do such a dastardly thing to become great, then thank God I am an old fogy of a lawyer and belong to a former generation." B. L. WICK. REVENGE. A certain judge is down on me; He told me to my face As long as he presided, he Would see I lost my case. I think some time he'll change his mind And climb into my boat; I know he will, for he will find I've got him by the throat. For, half in love, and half in spite, To put him in hot water, We two eloped the other night— I, and his pretty daughter. Harry R. Blythe.

USELESS BUT ENTERTAINING "They tell me you're working 'ard night an' day, Sarah?" her bosom friend Ann said. "Yes," returned Sarah. "I'm under bonds to keep the peace for pullin' the whiskers out of that old scoundrel of a husban' of mine, and the magistrate said that if I come afore 'im ag'in, or laid me 'ands on the old man, he'd fine me forty shiUin's!" "And so you're working 'ard to keep out of mischief? ' "Not much; I'm workin' 'ard to save up the fine!"—Law Student's Helper. The lawyer said sadly to his wife on his return home one night: "People seem very suspicious of me. You know old Jones? Well, I did some work for him last month, and when he asked me for the bill this morn ing, I told him out of friendship that I wouldn' charge him anything. He thanked me cor dially, but said he'd like a receipt." —Central Law Journal. A certain prominent lawyer of Toronto is in the habit of lecturing his office staff from the junior partner down, and Tommy, the office boy, comes in for his full share of the admonition. That his words were appreciated was made evident to the lawyer by a conver sation between Tommy and another office boy on the same floor, which he recently overheard. "Wotcher wages?" asked the other boy. "Ten thousand a year," replied Tommy. "Aw, g'wan!" "Sure, insisted Tommy, unabashed. "Four dollars a week in cash an' de rest in legal advice."—Central Law Journal. A graduate of an Eastern law school wrote to a prominent lawyer in Arkansas to find out what chance there would be for him in that part of the country. "I am a Republican in politics," he wrote, "and an honest young lawyer." "If you are an honest lawyer," came the reply, "you will have no competition, and if you are a Republican the game laws will protect you."—Everybody's Magazine. "Sir," requested the young man, entering with a suit on his arm. "I've brought these clothes for you to press. The man next door says you are a bird at pressing suits." "Well, the man next door is right," replied the suit presser; "only this isn't a tailor shop —it's a lawyer's office." —Central Law Journal.

The Editor will be glad to receive for this department anything likely to entertain the readers of the Green Bag in the way of legal antiquities, facetia, and anecdotes.