Page:The Green Bag (1889–1914), Volume 21.pdf/366

 The Lawyer's Bride, or the Suit of William Styles

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The jovial six carpenters shall build our house, I trow, And never fear a suit for trespass ab initio. Our goods the common carrier shall bring from divers places, And wedding presents many packed in Smith's Leading Cases. If you lack an occupation, in my office you shall work, You'll find it most engrossing, so the task you needn't shirk; And when you're feeling thirsty, we'll both go to the bar, And there we'll take refreshers, that so customary are. Be tenant of my heart for life, O, Maiden fair and chaste, And let my arm encircle your voluntary waste; Don't let me be nonsuited, but listen, pray, to reason, Oh, grant to me your hand in fee and let me have the seisin! I ask for an attachment, distress is all I get, Sweet, enter satisfaction of Cupid's judgment debt. You'll drive me p'raps to murder, if you will not be my wife, And then an execution will terminate my life. Your Bill you won't dishonor, accept him, do, at sight, "Protest for non-acceptance" must never be my plight; But to your sweet indorsement, Oh, let me have recourse, And let me take delivery as holder in due course. Upon my skill in pleading you'll surely cast no slur, Then to my declaration why do you thus demur, In Cupid's Court, my darling, be quick and prove your will, And none with infidelity shall ever tax your Bill. Sustaining my appeal, you, blushing, answer, "Yes" And now I'm plainly guilty of embracery, I guess; But, as you know, volenti injuria non fit, You waive my tort, my darling, when my kisses you permit. Refrain—List to me Phyllis, grant my petition, Come with me Phyllis dear and be a lawyer's bride. M. V. H.