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THE GREEN BAG

THE LIGHTER SIDE Good News.— An amusing story -is told at the expense of a prominent Baltimore lawyer, who, like most young attorneys, got his first case by assignment from the bench. His client had been indicted for murder, and his conviction was a foregone conclusion, as his guilt was unquestionable. The result of the trial was a sentence to be hanged; but the man made an appeal to the Governor for a pardon, and was anxiously awaiting a reply thereto when his lawyer visited him in his cell. "I got good news for you — very good news! " the young lawyer said, grasping the man's hand. "Did the Governor Is it a pardon?" the man exclaimed, joyously. "Well — no. The fact is the Governor refuses to interfere. But an uncle of yours has died and left you two hundred dollars, and you will have the satisfaction of know ing that your lawyer got paid, you know," was the comforting explanation. — Harper's Weekly. Sentence Suspended. — " You are charged with having registered illegally." "Well, your Honor," responded the prisoner, "perhaps I did, but they were trying so hard to beat you that I just got desperate." — Philadelphia Ledger. Laissez Faire.— A short time ago an old negro was up before a judge in Dawson City, charged with some trival offence. "Haven't you a lawyer, old man? " inquired the judge. "No, sah." "Can't you get one?" "No, sah." "Don't you want me to appoint one to defend you?" "No, sah; I jes" tho't I'd leab de case to de ign'ance ob de co't." — Philadelphia Public Ledger.

Outwitting Her Lawyer.— " Still, there are occasions when a lawyer isn't the chief beneficiary of a suit," said Mrs. Stonewall Jackson. " I know of one instance. A friend of mine in Virginia sued a railroad company for damages and secured.a verdict for $50,000, which was paid, and the whole amount is now in bank subject to her order. Her counsel didn't get a penny of it." "How was that?" "She found the only way of outwitting him — she married the lawyer." The Far Limit— The lawyer said sadly to his wife on his return home one night: "People seem very suspicious of me. You know old Jones? Well, I did some work for him last month, and when he asked me for the bill this morning, I told him out of friendship that I wouldn't charge him anything. He thanked me cordially, but said he'd like a receipt." — National Farmer. "O, You're Killing Me!" — O, you're kill ing me! " cried a male voice, ' Have you no pity? ' " said Senator Foraker, telling his story of a seaside hotel to illustrate hasty verdicts. "There followed a series of awful groans. Then: "' Stop! You are murdering me! I'm dying.', "For a little while the crowd outside heard feeble grunts and moans. Then a wild shriek rang forth. "' Murder! You've done it at last. You've killed me. O, I'm dying.' "' What deed is going on in there? ' "There was a smothered laugh within, the door was opened instantly, and a young and pretty woman appeared. "'Did the noise alarm you?" she said. I've just been peeling off the shirt from my husband's sunburnt arms.1"— Philadelphia Record.